


It's Not Vandalism If It Looks Good

by AcrylicPaint



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Prompt Fic, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:24:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcrylicPaint/pseuds/AcrylicPaint
Summary: “Why haven’t you told anyone?” Peridot looked up to find Lapis slightly closer than before, and genuinely confused.“Whatever personal vendetta you’ve got against this institution is none of my business. I don’t see why I’d have to report you,” Peridot said stubbornly, nose crunching up beneath her glasses.“Aw, Peri, I didn’t know you cared that much.” Lapis leaned even closer, making Peridot take a step back.“I can, however, file a restraining order if you keep getting closer.”-Alternatively; “My college roommate has been leaving the dorm in the dead of night and I really shouldn’t follow them but here I am, neck deep into anarchy.”





	1. Aesthetic Vandalism

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this prompt at 3:48 AM last night (this morning?) and it didn't let me sleep. Cons; I've been running on 4 hours of sleep all day. Pros; *this*.

Peridot awoke to the sound of landing footsteps outside her dorm window; an everyday framework that should bother her, but for some reason didn’t. She tried to screw her eyes shut despite her nagging curiosity, and pulled her blanket tighter around herself. She waited a few minutes for something to happen, and when nothing did, she decided to open her eyes and focus on her bedside, her desk in the corner of the room, and the clock.

Frustrated at the blurry symbols, she reached lazily for her glasses resting on her bedside, nearly knocking the glass of water that had taken permanent residence on that precise spot, and that had begun to mark a stain on the wooden surface. She lethargically pulled herself up and brushed her hair out of her eyes before putting on her glasses. The room was tinted blue from the moonlight coming in through the window—which was left open, again. She glanced back at the clock and groaned.

It read 2:37 A.M.

It was the third time this week. Any other day she would’ve ignored it, like she always did, and pretend she had no idea what was going on. Today, however, she didn’t feel like being an outsider.

 

It had started at the beginning of the semester. Coincidentally, the day she met her roommate. The noises coming from the courtyard piqued her interest and made her step out of the building. As she made her way down the stone steps, she found a group of students crowding around one of the columns of the building. The more she stared, the more people gathered around, until eventually her curiosity forced her legs to move forward. The closer she got the more she realized her mistake; the students crowding were considerably taller than she was, making it difficult for her to make out the cause of the commotion. So, Peridot stood there, awkwardly moving her head around trying to catch a glimpse of the wonder until she heard someone next to her.

“Having a hard time?”

Peridot turned her head to find what to this day she considers the physical manifestation of trouble.

The stranger wasn’t looking at her, hands inside the pockets of her letterman and eyes focused in front of her. Peridot pretended not to hear her and continued jumping on her spot with the little dignity she had left. However, the girl had none of it.

“Come with me, I know a place with a good view.”

“How very not suspicious.”

“Please, you look like the type that screams bloody murder if someone steps on your foot.”

Peridot rolled her eyes and took a long, hard look at the person next to her. She was looking at her with a smug smile on her lips. At this angle, Peridot could take in the girl’s features properly. She had dyed blue hair partially hidden by a beanie and tanned skin—at least, the little that was visible under the large jacket she was wearing. Peridot tried her hardest to avoid eye contact, but it seemed like the stranger could tell that she was struggling. Finally, she sighed and looked up, and suddenly the thought of following the punk seemed less ludicrous than before.

“Name’s Lapis.”

“Didn’t ask.” Lapis laughed and turned on her heal, looking at Peridot over her shoulder.

“C’mon, I promise not to mug you.” For a moment, Peridot considered letting her pride get the best of her and leave Lapis stranded. It was tempting, but there was something about this girl that attracted her in the most neutral way imaginable, like a black hole attracts lost, weaker asteroids.

She decides to humor both herself, and her unwanted ‘friend’, tightening her fingers around the strap of her messenger bag, and catching up to Lapis. For whatever reason, she had assumed that it would be a regular walk to the upper floor, and was caught off guard when Lapis took off running in front of her, taking the stairs two, almost three steps at a time. Peridot rolled her eyes for the second time since meeting Lapis and took off after her, nowhere near as quickly, but just enough to keep the other in her field of view.

She was almost surprised when Lapis stopped in front of the ladder leading to the roof of the building as she reached the very last step. Peridot tried to hide the fact she was practically wheezing by making her way to the balcony railing and looking down. She now understood why Lapis was leading them to the roof; only half of the work was visible, even on the last floor of the building. She heard the twist of a lock and the sound of metal hitting the floor and quickly turned around. Lapis had, somehow, removed the lock from the ladder’s hatch and had started making her way up.

“You can’t be serious.”

Lapis didn’t respond, but did look back to send a wink her way.

The sudden urge to pull out her hair surprised Peridot. It wasn’t always you met someone and deemed them ‘insufferable’ after only moments of meeting them. She turned around to look for witnesses, and when she found none, reluctantly made her way up the metal ladder.

“This institution is a safety hazard,” Peridot said, reaching the final step and still holding onto the rails for dear life. Lapis giggled and offered Peridot her hand, but was gracefully denied.

Peridot pulled herself up and noticed that Lapis had walked off. Peridot’s eyes followed the other getting nearer and nearer to the edge, standing with half of her shoe hanging in midair. It appeared this oddity was not only a delinquent, but also a suicidal maniac.

Lapis looked over her shoulder and urged Peridot to come closer.

Peridot shook her head. “No way.”

“Suit yourself.” Lapis shrugged and turned back to the abyss, reaching down and opting to sit with her legs dangling under her.

Peridot fidgeted with the pins on her bag until she built up enough courage to move from her anchored state. She took careful steps towards the edge of the roof until she was only a couple of steps behind Lapis. With an unbelievable amount of strength, she teared her gaze from her feet and looked down at the courtyard.

Her eyes widened at the sight before her. The column was completely coated with colors and patterns. Stripes wrapped around like arrows and strings, suddenly turning into intertwined hands. The base was dusted over with dots resembling stars, which transitioned into galaxies and then waves. A work of abstract art with perhaps a deeper meaning Peridot was too simple-minded to understand.

“Pretty neat, huh?”

“Do you know who did it?” Peridot, suddenly inspired by the art piece, sat down next to Lapis, unable to tear her eyes away from the column.

“Not a clue, but whoever did, is bound to get expelled.”

 

Two coffees, and three orientation meetings later, Peridot met Lapis again outside her dorm, carrying a cardboard box with questionable contents. For all Peridot knew, it was just filled with normal, everyday objects, but given the character, she had immediately baptized every single one of Lapis’ possessions as questionable.

“Oh good, I’m not rooming with a total stranger,” Lapis said, balancing the box on one hand while digging for what Peridot assumed were her keys with the other.

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re still total strangers.” Peridot dug inside her own pocket. “Here, I’ll do it.” She unlocked the door and pushed it open, letting Lapis walk in first to set down her belongings.

“How can you say that? I thought what we had on the roof was special.” Peridot walked in and set her bag on the desk farthest from the door. She had set up a few days prior and didn’t have to wrestle Lapis for the bed closest to the desk. She was sure Lapis would understand.

“If anything, I’m just one more on your list of acquaintances you’ve led to bizarre locations,” Peridot said, walking out the door to help Lapis carry more boxes.

“Give yourself some credit. You’re the only one who actually went through with it.” With the last box in her side of the room, Lapis collapsed on her bed.

“Ah, so you _are_ a serial harasser.”

“Only to short girls that are more bark than bite.” That earned Lapis a pillow to the face.

“A harasser with a type. You sure are full of surprises.” Peridot removed her glasses to rub her nose, ignoring the way the tip of her ears burned.

“So, are you going to tell me your name now or am I going to have to call you ‘roomie’ for the remaining of our college life?” Lapis rolled onto her side, looking at Peridot expectedly.

“…Peridot,” she murmured quietly, facing the opposite wall.

“What was that?”

“My name is Peridot,” she said, louder this time, turning around to stare straight at Lapis, who had leaned closer.

Lapis smiled, and stretched so her head hung from the side of the bed. This made her beanie fall and her hair drop unnaturally. “Nice to meet you, Peridot.”

 

The paintings began to show overnight, which was a rather impressive feat in Peridot’s opinion. The first were abstract, with the simple purpose to beautify the building. Peridot had hoped that to be the case at first; pure beautification and self-expression. The institution was old and bland, so a little of color gave some personality. The anonymous artist soon enough gained popularity, and even a small fandom. A group of art students—closely followed by psychology students using them as subjects—would crowd around the art pieces to criticize and look for patterns. They hoped to predict the next pieces, but failed every time, as if the artist himself could hear the group’s conclusions.

At one point, Peridot considered the possibility of it being more than one artist; some sort of collective doing it for art’s sake. But the style was so distinctive that she was almost certain whoever was doing it was alone and that they were simply very determined to place their mark on the world.

Days came and went, and the purpose of the paintings began to take form. It wasn’t just patterns anymore, but messages. The symbolism was suffocating and some English majors began to show interest. It was an act of rebellion that spoke to the student body, but did not fly with the administration. Threats were thrown out to the anonymous artist and even some benefits and rewards to however turned them in. Peridot didn’t like their attitude, and cheered the artist on for fighting against being silenced. It was the only bit of excitement some students—Peridot included—had experienced in years, so of course they silently vouched for the artist.

“Can you believe that? If only they knew the pressure makes the artist stronger,” Lapis said one day, with a fiery conviction Peridot hadn’t noticed back then. She was browsing through a Facebook page the students had made in honor of the anonymous artist. They posted pictures of the pieces from different angles, selfies, and even word posts hoping to get the artist to step forward.

“They must be very brave to keep it up for this long.” Peridot admired the person. It wasn’t easy to do something of that magnitude without being spotted. “Who’s being accused this time?”

“You know Amethyst?”

“Yeah, she’s in one of my classes. Definitely not her.”

“She would’ve stepped forward by now with the amount of attention this is getting.” Lapis closed her laptop and placed it at the corner of her bed. “I’m getting something to eat. Want anything?”

“Coffee. Or Red Bull. Anything to help me finish this paper before midnight.”

“Gotcha.” With that, Lapis left the room and Peridot was left alone with her thoughts.

 

She had to admit that if it wasn’t for the ungodly number of pulled all-nighters, Peridot would not have caught on until much later.

The first time it happened, Lapis had left the dorm and had not come back until much later, only to find Peridot furiously typing on her laptop. In some obscure way, the moment had flawless comedic timing. Lapis had opened the door slowly, hoping to sneak in in case Peridot was asleep, and simply froze the moment she was caught. The two looked at each other for what felt like hours, Lapis fidgeting with the sleeve of her hoodie and Peridot’s sleep-deprived mind trying to register what was happening.

Eventually, Peridot spoke up. “I won’t ask.” And then returned to her ceaseless typing.

Lapis let out the breath she was holding and closed the door. Her bag made a peculiar sound when it crashed against the foot of Lapis’ bed, but Peridot’s mind couldn’t recognize it. Lapis changing and getting into bed were registered as a blur in Peridot’s mind, and by the time everything had sunk in, it was nearly five in the morning, so she decided to ignore it.

The second and third time happened in a similar manner. Lapis would walk in late at night—or early in the morning—while Peridot was ‘asleep’. A student’s life was generally private, and whatever Lapis was up to was really none of her business. After all, she had baptized her as trouble the moment she first laid eyes on her. The fourth and fifth time made it a common occurrence. Sometimes Lapis would walk in and find Peridot on her laptop or reading a textbook, other times it was Peridot who was gone. Peridot noticed that the times where she arrived to the dorm after Lapis, her roommate was still awake, and would always ask where she was.

“I was at the library finishing something up.”

“Oh.” It felt a little hypocritical, but Peridot let it slide as mere concern. She didn’t leave the dorm much during the night. She never pressed Lapis about her escapades, despite the growing indignation. Part of her didn’t want to know. The other, slightly more emotional part, was just upset that Lapis didn’t trust her enough.

 

And now there she was, sitting upright on her bed, wondering if today was going to be one of those days, or if she was going to spice up the routine. Peridot shook the memory out of her head and made an effort to get out of bed. Sleep still fogged her mind, making her movements wobbly, but she was determined to confirm her suspicions tonight. She put on shoes and a hoodie, not bothering to change out of her sweatpants or even put on a bra. She unplugged her phone, glanced at the time, and shoved it in her pocket. If she bumped into anyone while out, she’d just say that she was studying. Usually she got away with that.

Peridot placed her hands on the windowsill and looked down. It wasn’t a high drop, two meters tops, but it didn’t stop her hands from shaking. She took a deep breath and pushed herself up, rotating her hips so that her legs dangled outside the window. Peridot looked around—a habit she had developed the moment she met Lapis—before jumping and landing with a ‘thud’. Her ankles didn’t take the hit and gave away, making her fall to her knees.

“Fucking hell.” Peridot pulled herself up and dusted her knees, which she was sure were covered in mud.

It wasn’t until she ready to start walking when she realized she had no idea where she was going. She had chosen to find Lapis with a resolve, not a plan, and the product of her mistake was showing the more she searched. There was not a trace of Lapis’ presence. Peridot leaned against the wall heaved a sigh. She’d just have to look in the places that had no trace of aesthetic vandalism.

She pushed herself off the wall and shoved her hands inside the pockets of her hoodie. She’d search every nook and cranny of the building if she had too. Hopefully she knew Lapis enough that she didn’t have to spend hours looking. The only sound was her footsteps tapping evenly against the pavement, and the booming muffled music coming from the other dorm. Peridot pulled her hood over her head as she walked beneath the building balconies. Eventually she came across an open field; the space between the different university buildings. There was a fountain in the middle of the clearing, a landmark of sorts. It was one of the few notable monuments that hadn’t been impaired during the anarchist movement. Peridot sat down on the fountain’s basin and looked up at the sky. It was surprisingly clear, or maybe it always was, she wasn’t exactly a fan of long walks late at night. Movement caught the corner of her eye and turned her head towards the side of her dorm building.

There was a dark shadow hanging by a rope. It took her a moment to really process it, but when she did panic settled in. She jumped from the basin and made a run for the dorm.

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, until she reached the corner of the building. She hid behind the fence that separated the building from the clearing and looked up. The person was…climbing? Upon closer inspection, the person Peridot had seen in the distance had their feet firmly pressed against the surface of the wall, while their torso was supported by a rope. They were shaking what appeared to be a cylinder with their left hand. It didn’t take long for it to click.

She looked down and saw a very familiar black bag on the ground. For a moment Peridot didn’t do anything. She didn’t call them out, or moved from where she stood. Then, she calmly dug into her pocket and pulled out her phone. The brightness of the screen blinded her momentarily, but still she pressed on; unlocking it and opening her recent messages. She quickly typed something and sent it without really thinking too much about it, and then she waited.

Soon enough, there was movement above her. The person had reached inside their pocket to look at their phone. Peridot looked up and thought she had made eye contact with the supposed stranger. She wasn’t sure because they were wearing their hood up and it was dark.

“Hey, Lapis.”

“Peridot?!” 

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later they were sitting down against the wall, Peridot with her knees pressed against her chest and Lapis with hers stretched before her. They were silent for a long time, seemingly processing the current events. Peridot was the first to break the silence.

“So, it really was you this whole time.” She didn’t sound surprised at all. If anything, it was as if it was something she knew the whole time but was just now coming to terms with it.

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“I’m not.”

“You knew this whole time?” Lapis turned to look at her, she had a legitimately surprised expression on her face.

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Peridot said, a-matter-of-factly.

“Oh yeah? Then how come nobody else knows?” Lapis stood up and crossed her arms, staring down at Peridot condescendingly.

“Lapis, I’m your roommate. It wasn’t hard to guess what you were doing every other night.” Peridot stood up to level with Lapis, or tried to, considering her roommate had a few inches on her. “Besides,” she began, “You’ve got a permanent paint stain on your shoes.”

Lapis glanced down at her feet. Her shoes were, indeed, dusted with blues and greens. “Huh.”

Silence was upon them again. Lapis gently kicked the footing of the wall while Peridot stared down at her feet.

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” Peridot looked up to find Lapis slightly closer than before, and genuinely confused.

“Whatever personal vendetta you’ve got against this institution is none of my business. I don’t see why I’d have to report you,” Peridot said stubbornly, nose crunching up beneath her glasses.

“Aw, Peri, I didn’t know you cared that much.” Lapis leaned even closer, making Peridot take a step back.

“I can, however, file a restraining order if you keep getting closer.”

The response was immediate. Lapis pivoted and placed her hands on either side of Peridot’s head, trapping her against the wall. Peridot shrieked and backed up as much as possible. “Scratch that, I’ll report you for harassment!”

Lapis only laughed, something playful glinting in her eyes. Peridot ignored the way her entire face felt warm. “Be honest. Does it really bother you that much?”

Peridot did not answer, dignified. Lapis wiggled her eyebrows and Peridot looked away with a grimace.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I’m swooning.”

 _“Who’s there?”_ The glint of a flashlight glared in their general direction, forcing Lapis to jump back and wrap her fingers around Peridot’s wrist.

“We gotta hide, like, _now_.” Before Peridot could respond she was dragged behind the fence, and pressed roughly against the material of Lapis’ jacket.

From the other side, they could hear voices. “He was definitely here. We might actually get him this time.” Then the footsteps faded into the distance.

“Ha, Morons.”

“Lapis, I can’t breathe.”

“Oh, sorry.” Lapis let go of Peridot’s wrist and stepped away from her. Peridot raised an eyebrow. “We should probably go back to the dorms.”

“Aren’t you gonna finish?”

“Nah, they’ll be roaming this whole area all night. I don’t want to risk it.”

“Look at you, thinking things through.”

“What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me.” Lapis stuck her head out the side of the fence before stepping out. “You do know what this means, right?”

“I sure hope not.”

“We’re in this together.”

“Oh no. Absolutely not.” Lapis picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder before hooking one arm around Peridot’s neck. “Get off me.” Peridot, however, made no motion to get out of the embrace.

“This is gonna be so fun. God, Peridot you’re such a delinquent.”

Peridot rolled her eyes. “I hate everything about you.”

“That’s not true. You’ve got to like me at least a little to come out here at three in the morning.”

Peridot eventually attempted to push Lapis’ arm off, but gave up upon realizing her vertical disadvantage. “Don’t flatter yourself. It was mere curiosity.”

“Right, and I redirect my insomnia into making art for art’s sake instead of sending a message to our capitalist overlords.”

“Why did I ever think you were noble.”

“Don’t know, you might’ve underestimated my pettiness.”

Peridot laughed. “Oh no, trust me. I have a pretty accurate estimate of it.”

 

They quietly made their way back to their dorm, the spray paint bottles inside Lapis’ bag clanking with every step. Once under their room window, Lapis stepped forward and went down on one knee.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting to be knighted. What does it look like I’m doing? I’m giving you a leg-up!”

Peridot almost stood her ground, but then realized that trying to get herself up alone would be infinitely more embarrassing, so she carefully walked forward and placed her foot on Lapis’ hands. She was promptly raised up to the window and made an effort to pull herself, gracelessly tumbling inside with a faint ‘ow’.

“You okay?”

“Peachy.”

Soon after, Lapis gracefully leaped inside the room and closed the window.

Peridot huffed. “Show off.”

Lapis stuck out her tongue.

As if it was routine, Lapis dropped her bag at the foot of her bed and pull her hoodie over her head.

“You’re not wearing a shirt,” Peridot said, quickly averting her eyes.

“And you’re not wearing a bra,” Lapis countered, making Peridot blush and cross her arms over her chest. “Well, I’m going to shower. Feel free to join me.”

“Go to hell.”

Lapis shrugged, and marched out of the room.

Peridot groaned and fell back onto her bed. She looked up at the clock. It read 3:49 A.M.

There was no way she could get any sleep now.

She took off her hoodie and changed her muddy sweatpants into shorts. She considered taking a shower as well, but despised the idea of pleasing her roommate. Instead, she grabbed her laptop from her desk and climbed onto her bed.

Her first google search was “what to do when your roommate is a delinquent” and came across an entire archive of answers. She snorted, but bookmarked the page nonetheless.

 

Three articles and a considerably long comment thread later, Peridot heard the door click.

“You better be decent,” she said, eyes not leaving her computer screen.

“Mostly, can you pass me that tank top?”

“What—Goddammit, Lapis!” Peridot reached blindly for the tank top, eyes gluing themselves to the floor while Lapis’ nude form—with the exception of her shorts—strolled casually across the room. Once her fingers grasped the fabric she tossed it at Lapis with more fury than was necessary.

“Thanks!” Lapis pulled the tank top over her head and aggressively dried her hair with a towel, and then proceeded to shake her hair like a dog.

“Why are you like this.” Peridot took off her glasses and dried the droplets with the hem of her shirt, glaring at the general shape of Lapis the entire time.

Once satisfied, Lapis flopped onto her bed with a happy sigh. Peridot considers picking up a semester of psychology. Turning back to her laptop, she types in “blatant disregard for authority” and “unpredictable, non-violent behavior.”

She grew tired half-way through an article on histrionic personality disorder and shut her laptop, placing it on her bedside. She heard Lapis snoring softly from across the room, and shook her head. Lapis’ hair was wet and she hadn’t bothered getting under the covers. Annoyed, Peridot stood up, pulled a blanket from one of the closets and threw it unceremoniously over Lapis’ sleeping form. Happy with her good deed of the day, she walked back to her bed, placed her glasses on her bedside and snuck under the covers. Seconds later, she heard movement to her right.

“See, you do care.”

“Go to sleep, Lazuli.”

 

Peridot didn’t manage to sleep that night, her mind too preoccupied with the sudden realization that she was now in cahoots with what the university considered a disruptor of academic harmony. She was basically a criminal now. Was her record even clean anymore? Vandalism was a step away from political rioting, was she really prepared for such responsibility? She couldn’t go to jail. Her mother would never forgive her. Yet, deep inside her, the thought of rebellion excited her. Maybe it was time for a change. Peridot rolled to her side to face Lapis. How could she sleep so calmly knowing that getting caught meant immediate expulsion? Maybe she could learn a couple of things from her roommate.

As long as she kept her distance, and didn’t cause Peridot cardiac complications.

Lapis rubbed her face against her pillow and let out a deep breath.

 

Peridot was not ready.


	2. From Delinquent to Cynic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wonders if Lapis' flashes of quiet wonderment are true moments of weakness or shameless engulfing into her overwhelming conceit. Turns out it's the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The responses to this were overwhelmingly positive and I'm forever grateful that you appreciate my work. Your comments are a source of motivation for me, so I thank all of you for taking your time to write such nice reviews! As promised, I'll continue this and see where it takes me. 
> 
> I'll try to pick up regular updates again, so for now, I'll try to shoot for every Friday.

Peridot woke up under the impression that last night had been a fever dream.

 

Her brain hadn’t really processed the word exchange between her and Lapis, much less her apparent ‘willingness’ to partake in her roommate’s rebellious delusion. Which is why she was surprised to wake up to Lapis gently nudging her shoulder at seven o’clock on a Saturday morning, as opposed to her crushing weight on her back after leaping on Peridot like some offbeat wrestler. Peridot enjoyed routine. Lapis, not so much.

“Does this pursuit of yours extend into the weekends too?” Peridot asked, not moving from her spot beneath the blankets and voice still hoarse with sleep.

“Your ability to be a prick this early in the morning truly amazes me.”

Peridot felt a weight leave her bed and rolled over, only to find Lapis’ face mere inches away from her own. She sighed. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, you could get your ass out of bed and come check this out.” Lapis leaned off her bed and walked back to her own, plopping onto her mattress and pulling her laptop into her lap.

Peridot came to the conclusion that she wouldn’t get any sleep from that point on, so she pushed off her covers and reached for her glasses. By the time she had made her way across the room to the other’s bed, Lapis had moved over, allowing Peridot to slip in and sit next to her. Lapis was staring at a thread of comments concerning the half-finished piece on the side of their building. That much was enough to remind Peridot that last night had indeed happened, and that she was still responsible for the events to come.

It was ironic to think that she had tried so hard to keep a perfect record and to stay away from drugs in order to avoid making drastic decisions, and that her downfall would be the one decision she made sober. Soon enough she’d be receiving calls from her mother—who never called unless it was Christmas—and from her cousin who was a lawyer and was probably hired by her mom to work on her case. She considered becoming an alcoholic. After all, it was only downhill from there.

“What am I looking at?”

“You, my dear sidekick, are looking at the visual representation of discourse.” Lapis had a devious look in her eyes, almost as if she thrived for the chaos and confusion they unwillingly had caused.

“What does that even mean? Wait, hold on— _sidekick?”_ Peridot looked up from Lapis’ computer to stare at her roommate. Lapis stared back for a second before swiftly shutting her laptop and jumping out of bed, leaving a highly confused Peridot shakily grasping for the laptop.

Lapis ignored her question. She reached inside her closet for her letterman and tied her shoes. “Well? What are you waiting for? Get dressed and come with me.”

Peridot blinked. “Where are we going?”

Again, Lapis ignored her. Peridot, knowing a lost case when she saw one, stood up and hustled to get dressed, not even bothering to brush her hair.

 

Lapis led her through the crowd towards the side of the building. People were gathering around the unfinished piece, muttering to themselves and taking pictures. Now that it was daytime, Peridot could better make out what the piece was supposed to be; it had an uncanny affinity to a rather offensive gesture. Peridot had to admit, the overwhelming amount of detail on the middle finger was unnecessary, but not any less appreciated. They remained a couple of steps away from the general crowd, Lapis relishing the indirect attention, or so Peridot assumed. Peridot looked around and found a few familiar faces, one of which stared back. Peridot waved.

She was met with a mess of bleached white hair and a wide smile. “Peridot! Lapis!”

“Hey, Amethyst.”

“’Sup.”

Amethyst walked over to them, eyes practically sparkling. “You guys see this? Isn’t it awesome? I wonder why it isn’t finished. People are saying they got caught.”

“Do you think so?” Lapis said before Peridot could get a word in.

Amethyst crossed her arms proudly. “Hell nah, I’m sure it was planned. They’re way smarter than these people give them credit for. Not to mention that now I’ve got myself an alibi.”

“How so?” Peridot pretended she didn’t notice Lapis wandering away from them.

“I hosted last night’s party, and two thirds of the people here were there. There’s no way they still think I did this.” Peridot looked around. “You alright?”

“Yeah I just—did you see where Lapis went?”

“Up there.” Peridot followed Amethyst gaze and found Lapis on top of the fence, swinging her legs and looking up. For a moment, she wasn’t the mischievous pain in the ass Peridot had learned to know and love—perhaps _stand_ was a better word. She looked at peace, and Peridot almost felt bad for interrupting.

“Look, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, alright?” She waved Amethyst goodbye and made her way to where Lapis was, nervously looking around and trying not to look any more suspicious than she already did. So maybe leaving Amethyst hanging like that wasn’t the smartest idea. But what else what she supposed to do? Peridot was a terrible liar and she knew that the more she talked the worse it got. Eventually she reached the fence and leaned against it, waiting a few minutes to organize her thoughts and delaying having to break Lapis out of her pensive state.

“Why did you bring me here?” At last she spoke, not moving to face Lapis and burying her hands deeper within the pockets of her hoodie in a failed attempt to stay warm.

“We’re blending in. If we’re the only ones not gawking over this they’ll grow suspicious,” Lapis said. She swung her legs and landed next to Peridot, still looking up at the art piece.

“As if they’d consider us for potential suspects. We’re practically invisible.”

“That’s true. I mostly just wanted to see their reaction.”

Peridot shook her head, incredulous. “I can’t believe you.”

Lapis laughed. “Let’s go back, we’ve got a lot to work on.”

“Lapis, I don’t know if you know this but, college is still a thing for me.” Lapis waited for Peridot to catch up to her before walking in the direction of their dorm. “As much as I’d love to help you plan your next stunt, I’ve got things to do.”

“Nonsense, yesterday you were just talking about having a free weekend.”

Peridot coughed into her elbow to hide her evident blush. Or at least tried to, the cold weather tinted her pale skin, making it look like she was aggressively sun-burnt. “You were listening to me?”

“I mean, it’s hard not to. You _do_ tend to complain rather loudly.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel things, Lazuli.” Peridot crossed her arms and dug her chin into her chest. All at once she felt fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp for a moment before utterly leaving her hair disheveled, action that only caused Peridot _to_ _complain rather loudly_. “Stop, you’re messing up my hair!”

“See what I mean?” Lapis didn’t pull her hand away. Rather, she kept it there and moved it around, watching in bewilderment as Peridot’s hair followed like string with static cling. “Also, your hair was already a mess. Have you considered cutting it?”

Peridot finally slapped Lapis’ hand away and shook her head in an attempt to regain the controlled chaos that was her distinguished hairstyle. However, she only managed to make it look like she had survived a whirlpool with her hair standing on all sides.

Lapis took a moment to admire her and Peridot’s work before breaking into heartfelt laughter; the kind that made your lungs ache and your face feel like you had run a marathon. Lapis held her sides and giggled shamelessly, snorting every now and then and having what Peridot presumed was the time of her life. Peridot felt her face getting redder and redder, caused by both the humiliation, and the uncomfortable warmth that was settling in her. In a final attempt to regain her dignity she reached up and pushed her hair down against her head, hoping to ease the spikes into smooth acceptable curls that hopefully looked half decent.

They made the rest of the way to their dorm silently, Lapis trying to subdue her laughter while Peridot burned holes into the side of her roommate’s face.

 

“You need a brand.”

Peridot liked to imagine a timeline where she and Lapis were sociable college students. Students that went out during the weekends and had the time of their lives. It was a charming vision. She shook the thought out of her head and scrolled down her feed. Light music played from Lapis’ earplugs, her feet tapping along the rhythm as she read a book on spiritual fulfillment and mocked every other line. They had chosen to stay inside, not feeling particularly quirky enough to pretend to enjoy the presence of others. It gave Peridot time to mull over their relationship. When they first met, Peridot suspected Lapis to be more of a social butterfly judging by the way she had approached her. Yet she became more and more of an enigma the more time they spent together.

Peridot wasn’t sure if Lapis liked _anyone_ besides her and the middle schooler she babysat regularly.

And saying Lapis liked her was already far-fetched.

Lapis had the tendency to make enemies quickly and unintentionally. Or perhaps intentionally, Peridot wasn’t sure. She liked to believe she knew Lapis, but her life had become the closest thing to rooming with a breathing slot machine; every interaction feeling like a hit-or-miss situation. Still, Peridot was happy with the arrangement. To feel that she was the only person who truly saw Lapis behind closed doors gave her ego a boost strong enough to put it in a pedestal. In a way, Peridot felt that Lapis was the only other person who knew how out of place she felt, and that her own loneliness complemented hers.

Or at least she hoped that to be the case. There had to be a reason she was willing to put up with Lapis’… _everything._ Lapis too, must have a reason to put up with Peridot’s ego.

“Did you say something?” Lapis pulled out an earplug and turned to face Peridot, book completely forgotten.

“I said that you need a brand,” Peridot said, not looking away from her laptop.

“Ooh, I like where this is going!” Lapis jumped to her feet, dropping her phone, earplugs, and book all at once and making Peridot wince the moment her phone made contact with the floor. She hopped to stand behind Peridot’s chair and crossed her arms over the blonde’s head. Peridot chose not to acknowledge the sudden weight and warmth, though to be fair, the sudden position made Peridot’s movements awkward, but she didn’t feel like shoving Lapis off.

“Your collection should have a name. Something exciting, mysterious, something to really stir the student body, y’know?” Peridot’s voice got more confident as she went. “It should be something that really means business and inspires—”

“Meep morp.”

_“...what?”_

“Meep. Morp.”

Peridot blinked once. Twice. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m dead serious.”

“You want to call a potentially political illustration assortment _‘meep morp’_?”

“Yes.”

Peridot stared, frightened, trying to find a speck of humor in Lapis’ eyes and found none. It was fitting, in some sick and twisted way. Lapis was the very definition of anarchist, and somehow Peridot knew that no matter what name she gave it, it would eventually stir fear within anyone’s soul. She opened her mouth to say something but found that she had no words. Peridot twisted her chair around to look at her roommate. The movement forced Lapis to move from her position to step back. She hands were firmly at her sides and she had a wildly serious look on her face. Peridot swallowed.

“Okay,” She said, looking everywhere but Lapis’ face. “I suppose it _is_ your art.”

“Good!” In a flash, Lapis was back to her usual self, arms held behind her back and a goofy smile. Peridot almost didn’t notice the change, and decided not to point it out. “So? How’s this gonna work? How’re we gonna establish ourselves?”

“I think we should reconsider your decision to have no online presence.” Peridot turned back around and alt-tabbed to the infamous page dedicated to the anonymous artist. “You should come forward to give the movement direction.”

“You mean, as myself?” Lapis had resumed her position resting on Peridot’s head, and every time her roommate spoke she could feel the other’s body rising and falling with every breath.

“No, still anonymous, but present.”

Lapis snorted. “Like a troll.”

“Yes. Except we have to make them believe it’s really you.”

Lapis hummed. “You should impersonate me.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’ll confuse them. You’re better a cryptid, and nobody would suspect us.” Lapis stood up and walked to stand next to Peridot. “Think about it; even _if_ they could somehow guess that it’s you behind the screen, you’ve got a perfect record.”

Peridot thought it over. It made sense. If Lapis was ever on their list of suspects, a cynic fluent in intellectual jargon would definitely throw them off. “That could work. Thoughtful, considerate, _and_ ingenious. Are you feeling okay? Have you been brainwashed?”

Lapis flicked Peridot’s forehead. “I’m allowed to have my moments, thank you.”

“Too many moments one after the other. Don’t blame me for it looking suspicious.” Lapis reached over and ruffled Peridot’s hair once more, running away from the other’s wildly flailing hands. “What’s with your obsession with my hair today?!”

“I hadn’t noticed how soft it is.” Lapis said, already reaching for her book and dodging projectiles being thrown in her general direction.

 

* * *

 

“Do you think I have a chance with Amethyst?”

Lapis nearly spilled her drink—if whatever questionable liquid she was consuming was considered a drink in the first place. All Peridot knew was that she had gotten it from some guy named Kevin and that a good enough reason not to trust the contents of the bottle.

It was almost sunset and they had moved to Lapis’ bed under the pretext of bitching and gossiping, though it was mostly bitching. Peridot was leaning against the headboard while Lapis laid across the bed with her head hanging from the edge. They had been silent for a while, each within their own narrative, until Peridot said something that had been bothering her for quite a while.

After muttering the question, Lapis sprung up, nearly spilling her drink in the process. She turned to sit cross-legged in front of Peridot and took a swing from her can. “Why, do you like her?”

“I don’t know.”

Peridot took a swing from a bottle of beer she had begrudgingly accepted from Lapis and grimaced at the taste, though she appreciated the slight burn.

They were silent again.

“She asked me out a few weeks ago.”

“I thought she was with Pearl.”

Peridot shrugged.

The conversation was almost interstellar. As if each response took days to reach the other person. The topic of relationships was always strange for them. They were both preoccupied with infinitely more important things, and saw each other almost all the time outside of class, so it was strange to picture the other spending more time with anyone else. It wasn’t that they minded—neither of them were particularly possessive of the other—it was simply strange.

“Well, in that case then you obviously have a change if she was the one who asked you out.”

“Yeah, I know, I just meant—”

“—if it’d work out?”

“Yeah…”

Lapis pondered over it for a second, can resting on her lips and eyes elsewhere. “Hard to tell,” she began. “I always assumed she wasn’t the serious type. Just in it for flings, y’know?”

“Me too, that’s why I was surprised.”

“What’d you tell her?”

“That I’d think about it.” Lapis let out a dry laugh. “What?”

“You practically left her on read and haven’t mentioned a thing about it since?”

The accusation flustered Peridot. “I-I thought she’d forget about it eventually!”

“That’s cold. And to think you lured her with your charm.”

“I-I didn’t mean to!” Peridot hid behind Lapis’ pillow.

Lapis laughed. “Relax, I’m just messing with you.”

Peridot relaxed and they were back to waiting for the words to make their way to the other. The silence was comforting, which was something Peridot often took for granted. With Pearl, it was awkward, and with Amethyst, nonexistent. There were only a few people she could handle the silence with, Lapis being one of them. There was also Garnet, but Peridot never knew when to break it when it was absolutely necessary. The last one was Steven, the middle schooler Lapis babysat. Peridot was convinced that kid was wise beyond his age. She understood why Lapis bestowed her affection onto him, of all people.

“I think I’ll decline,” Peridot said. Lapis was looking at her expectedly, desperate for closure.

Lapis hummed, urging her on.

“I just don’t want to lead her on, y’know?”

“Technically you already did.”

“Hear me out, you jerk.”

“Alright, alright, sorry. Go on.”

“I just,” Peridot pulled at a strand of hair that had fallen over her eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“Amethyst _can_ be quite a handful. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Satisfied with Peridot’s resolve, Lapis laid back down and rolled onto her stomach, breathing deeply.

Peridot finished the bottle and stretched. She hadn’t realized the sun had gone down until she checked her phone for the time. Indeed, the room was dark, the only source of light being her phone screen and Lapis’, who was scrolling with her phone almost touching the tip of her nose. She was about to doze off due to the calmness of the room, and the light tapping of Lapis’ keys. She never deactivated the typing noises to annoy everyone around her. At this point, Peridot found it marginally more relaxing than annoying.

After a while, Lapis stirred. “I think I’ll say yes to Jasper.”

All of a sudden, every trace of sleep that had claimed Peridot completely vanished. “Are you serious?”

“I mean, why not.”

“Because she’s a ruthless brute with not a cell of decency and humility?” Peridot leaned off the headboard to look at Lapis in the eye. “Not to mention she’s the only person in this university who has a worse record than you.”

“Unfortunate. But have you considered,” Lapis wiggled her eyebrows and smirked.

Peridot sighed. “Yeah, yeah, she’s hot.”

“That’s a good enough reason to give it a shot, don’t you think?”

“With your standards, I suppose that’s fair.” Peridot mumbled, half hoping Lapis would hear her, and half hoping she was as deaf as a post.

But it seemed luck wasn’t on her side. “What was that?”

“N-Nothing!” But it was too late. Lapis pulled herself up and crept up to Peridot from the edge of the bed. “Don’t, Lapis, stop, I swear to God,” by the time she got the last word out she was already beneath Lapis, who had caged Peridot with her arms on each side of her head.

“Feels familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Y-You have a very askew concept of personal space.” Peridot shifted in a failed attempt to escape but was stopped by Lapis taking a hold of her wrists.

“What was that you said about my standards?” Her face was inches away from Peridot’s, so close she could feel her warm breath of her cheek as Lapis leaned close enough to whisper. “For your information, my standards are just marginally higher than that.”

Peridot feigned to struggle against her grip. She was in perfect position to kick Lapis off if she wanted to, but she allowed her roommate to humor her a little more. “How could I forget you have a thing for dumbasses.” She quipped.

“If that was the case, I’d be hopelessly in love with you.”

Peridot laughed, and pushed Lapis’ face away from hers. “And you’re not? Why must you hurt me this way?” Lapis ran her tongue over Peridot’s palm, making her shriek and pull her hand back. “Gross.”

“Some people are into that.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m sure that you’d learn to enjoy it in a different context.” Peridot cleaned her hand on Lapis’ shirt and was promptly slapped away.

“Is that how you seduce women, Lazuli? How lewd. No wonder Jasper is so into you.” Peridot’s wit fired up, despite the fact that she was stepping closer to a dangerous line.

Lapis plopped on top of her as a response, pushing the air out of Peridot’s lungs. “Excuse you, I’m a master of seduction.” She rested her hands under her chin and looked up at Peridot from beneath blue bangs. Peridot swallowed.

“O-Oh yeah? Prove it.” It was merely a whisper.

Silence only followed, and for a moment Peridot felt relief. She felt Lapis raise her head from her chest and Peridot did her best to avoid making eye contact. She kept this up for a couple of minutes before giving up and moving her gaze down. Lapis was looking straight at her—no, _through_ her.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

Peridot exhaled. “N-Nothing, I said I believed you.”

“You better. I’m practically a womanizer.”

“Of course.”

With that, Lapis yawned and pulled herself off of Peridot to reach for her phone. The sudden distance allowed Peridot to breathe a little easier and put her thoughts together. Whatever had gotten into her was suddenly gone and left her confused. What had she expected out of that exchange? What did she want? She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice Lapis changing into sweatpants and a tank top until she was standing at the doorway, looking strangely at Peridot.

“You alright? I’m going for a walk to wake myself up. You’re welcome to join me.”

Peridot shook her head. “I’ll stay. I gotta…do stuff.”

Lapis raised an eyebrow.

“It’s nothing like that, you minx.”

“Right, well. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

The moment the door clicked closed, Peridot collapsed into the bed with a loud groan.

 

* * *

 

Lapis came back an hour later looking like she had been jogging, and Peridot was half-way through a bag of chips eyes glued to her laptop screen. The door opened and closed, and Peridot didn’t bother looking up to know that Lapis was walking closer to join her. “Welcome back, you smell like wet dog.”

“It started raining on the way back.” Was Lapis’ only retort as she dug her hand inside the bag of chips and wolfed a handful down like a desperate animal.

Peridot grumbled and pulled the bag closer to her. “Didn’t notice.”

“Is this the stuff you said you had to do.”

“Very important business.”

Lapis leaned her head on Peridot’s shoulder to gain access to the bag. Peridot felt used.

“What season is this.”

“Three.”

Peridot couldn’t tell how long they had stayed like that. It could’ve been hours, or merely minutes. Eventually, as she began to doze off she heard light snoring coming from her right. Lapis had fallen asleep on her. She repressed the urge to roll her eyes and simply closed her laptop, placing it on her bedside. She looked down but could only see the blue of the top of Lapis’ head. Her roots were beginning to show. With a sigh, she shifted, causing Lapis’ head to drop from Peridot’s shoulder to her chest. Groaning, Peridot gently nudged Lapis’ head to the side while she shifted further down into her bed. Once comfortably lying down—albeit on top of the covers—she let Lapis’ sleeping form cling to her. Any other day she’d kick her off but she was feeling particularly benevolent today.

She refused to admit that Lapis’ sleeping face was endearing.

Peridot stared at the ceiling for minutes on end, trying and failing to find sleep. It didn’t help that her heart hadn’t stopped pounding since her conversation with Lapis earlier.

It also didn’t help that Lapis was clingy. She tried to free her arms but found that it was practically in Lapis’ possession from now until morning. Despite it all, Peridot allowed herself to smile, if only slightly. She’d have to come to terms with what was happening between them, and why it was manifesting out of the blue. Perhaps it wasn’t newborn. Whatever _it_ was anyways. Peridot shook away the thought.

 

There was nothing to think about.

Tomorrow couldn’t come any sooner.

 


	3. Angry Slice of Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot attempts to deal with her life as a new-born criminal and her relationship with an equally socially awkward individual with a Main Character Tragic Backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on every time I say 'regular schedule' just straight-up call me out on my bullshit. (Travelling makes writing difficult). Thanks again for the comments, they keep me motivated and excited to entertain you. Never hesitate to write something nice (it always makes my day).

“Hey, wake up.”

 

Given that Lapis’ shenanigans tended to take place during the night, Peridot considered dropping sleep altogether. Maybe that way the passage of time would cease and night time would never come. Yet no matter how many times she tried to stay awake, Lapis was always there to remind her that justice didn’t follow the circadian rhythm.

That, however, didn’t stop her from pretending her roommate didn’t exist.

“Peridot.”

Peridot held her breath.

“I know you’re awake.”

She wondered if Lapis could tell she was rolling her eyes under her eyelids.

Lapis didn’t press her for a bit, and Peridot wondered if, for once, Lapis would succumb to her wishes. Maybe there was some hope for her roommate after all. Then, just as she was about to tune the interruption out, she felt the cold air of night assault her skin as her blanket was harshly removed.

“L-Lapis!”

“Nice legs.”

Peridot hurriedly pulled her legs against her chest in an attempt to stay warm and to cover herself from Lapis’ wolfish gaze. She had hoped to wake up earlier than Lapis—as per usual—in order to get dressed and start her day early, but unfortunately, the possibility of being dragged into Lapis’ antics had completely slipped Peridot’s mind. “What do you want?!”

“I’m painting today. Come with me.”

Peridot blinked and looked Lapis up and down, having trouble without her glasses. She could at least make out the same black clothes she had worn the first time she caught her sneaking out of the dorm.

“No,” Peridot said, pulling her blanket from Lapis’ grip and burying herself beneath it.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t think I understand your idea of fun.”

“That’s because you don’t know what fun is.”

Peridot sprung upwards, indignant. “Excuse me? I’m the most fun individual you’ve ever met.”

“Good, you’re up! Get dressed and meet me outside. Bring dirty shoes.” Lapis picked up her bag and stopped with one foot out the window. “You’re not scared of heights, are you?”

“No, why?”

“No reason. Hurry up!” Lapis disappeared out the window, leaving Peridot staring at the empty sill cursing every God, Saint, and deity that placed Lapis upon her path.

 

“So, are you going to tell me why you forced me to come or…?” Peridot fixed the black beanie Lapis had given her over her hair and fidgeted with her black gloves. Frankly, Peridot didn’t think the outfit was necessary. It made her feel like a criminal. Maybe she _was_ a criminal now.

“I perform better with an audience.”

“Is everything you do self-serving?” Peridot stared at the bouncing of Lapis’ bag, trying to imagine the paint cans crashing against one another. She wondered how she had never been awoken by the sound of clashing metal.

“Not everything, but a lot of it.” Lapis turned a corner and walked into a dark alley that probably looked significantly less unnerving in the morning while Peridot was stoked on caffeine.

They walked past the now finished piece on the side of their dorm; Lapis had taken the next couple of days after the student turmoil to finish at different hours in order to throw off the security guards. The wall was now beautifully decorated by a realistic hand with its middle finger stretched out surrounded by rose thorns and chains. The chains continued into the corners of the wall, each link cracking and falling apart the closer they got to the center piece.

It reeked of Extra. Peridot wondered how nobody had traced it back to Lapis.

The further they walked into the alley, the more Peridot realized it was a one-way road.

“Why would you paint here? Nobody will see it.”

“Oh, I’m not painting here. You are.”

Peridot blinked, which seemed to be the only way to respond to Lapis’ nonsense lately.

“Lapis, I can’t paint.”

“Sure, you can. And you’re a fast learner, aren’t you?” They reached the end of the alley and Lapis dropped her bag onto the concrete. She kneeled next to it and pulled out an arrangement of cans one next to the other, and a couple of rolls of tape. Lapis looked back to find Peridot’s confused expression and elaborated; “Didn’t you pass that one music theory elective in only a couple of days? Hell, you learned an entire song after listening to it _once._ ”

“That’s not the same; music is pattern and numbers. Painting is…painting is pure form of expression that requires creative freedom and—”

“Peridot.”

Peridot’s rambling ceased when Lapis stood up and took a step towards her. She held a white paint can in one hand and spun a roll of tape with the other. Taking Peridot’s silence as a cue to continue, Lapis instructed, “You’re going to take this can, head to that wall over there, and sketch whatever is meaningful to you.”

“Lapis, I can’t—”

“You can, and you will. If you’re going to help me do this you need to understand _why_ I do it.” Lapis paced around Peridot, almost like a general briefing a cadet on a mission. “I know that there’s a fragment of artist within you. If not, do it for me?”

Peridot hesitated. She looked back between Lapis’ face and the can being held in front of her. Eventually, she breathed out and took the can, inspecting it by tossing it from hand to hand and turning it around. It was heavily used, with traces of spilled paint on the sides and the label barely recognizable. She shook it experimentally and was surprised to feel liquid twirling the pea inside the dip tube.

She took a step towards the wall and looked back at Lapis expectedly. Her roommate had that serious look on her face again, but it wasn’t exactly aggressive. “So, do I just…”

“Shake it and trace something on the wall.”

“Anything I want?”

“Anything you want.”

Peridot scratched her head and held her chin, trying to visualize something she cared about. Her mind was blank. “Could you, uh, do it and I’ll watch? To have an idea, I mean…”

“Oh, um, sure.” For a moment, Lapis looked nervous. Peridot was beginning to think the ‘performing better with an audience’ was a load of bullshit.

Lapis spun the can in her hand in a conceited demonstration of flaring and shook it before pressing the tiny valve. The sound of spraying immediately assaulted Peridot’s ears, allowing her to classify an arrangement of noises she associated with Lapis. The clashing, the rattling, and the spray. The sounds were almost symbolic; as if they represented the different phases of confinement. Clashing of chains, screams for release, and finally freedom. It was a morbid kind of auditory imagery that made Peridot uncomfortable. She supposed Lapis was trying to connect with her in her own unorthodox, and painfully indirect way.

The least she could do was reciprocate.

Peridot moved to stand behind Lapis to watch her work. The first couple of lines were distorted and unclear. They couldn’t give Peridot an idea of what Lapis could possibly be thinking of. In a way, it resembled her roommate’s own thought process; vague and indistinguishable at first, quickly shifting to obvious in mere seconds. Much like that same comparison, the sketch began to take form soon enough. Lapis’ movements were sharp and swift, creating the exact lines she wanted to portray. She sketched with dexterity and conviction, like the image itself. A couple of minutes later, Peridot could clearly make out the curve of the tides and the foam of the waves. She could almost picture the colors that would fit into the outline, and she felt dumb for not thinking of the ocean when Lapis said to paint something ‘meaningful’.

“There we go,” Lapis said, tracing over the final lines a couple of times before letting her arm drop by her side. She looked much more at ease, much like the time she was sitting on the fence.

Peridot was in awe. “L-Lapis that’s…Stars, I’ve seen your work before but…” She looked for the right words but could only stare dumbfounded. “It’s incredible.”

Lapis looked away so quickly Peridot couldn’t see her face. “It’s just a sketch.”

There was a certain quiver to her voice, but it was gone so quickly that Peridot assumed she had imagined it. Lapis shook her out of her thoughts by walking away from the wall and tossing the white spray can into her bag.

“Your turn.”

Peridot swallowed and gripped the can tightly. “O-Okay.”

She glanced back at Lapis’ waves and hummed. In a flash of brilliance, her hand falteringly moved towards the surface of the wall. Her index finger pressed over the valve and the white paint spattered messily onto the bricks. The first couple of lines were messy and uncoordinated due to Peridot’s lack of experience. She cursed and clicked her tongue multiple times, trying (and failing) to control the flow of paint and her shaky hand movements. Peridot slowly got the hang of it, throwing lines and shapes here and there while the picture was still fresh in her mind.

“Here, let me…” Lapis looked almost intrigued, reluctant to step in to help. Still, she took a step behind Peridot and reached for her hand, wrapping her fingers around Peridot’s grip and guiding it along. It looked like Lapis had gotten an idea of where Peridot was going.

Peridot was equal parts annoyed and mortified. Lapis’ proximity made it difficult to concentrate, but her assistance surely improved the appearance of the sketch. She let Lapis’ guide her, learning in the process how to turn her wrist in order to achieve arcs and straight lines. It took longer than Lapis’ sketch, but it was more spread and complex. Half-way through the lesson Lapis let go (which brought both relief and dismay to Peridot) and grabbed her own spray can. They took turns, worked individually on separate areas, and added to each other’s parts, managing to work together through the awkwardness caused by difference in ability.

 

The end result was much more impressive than Peridot’s visual.

It was a spatial picture; astronomical objects plagued the negative space while a spacecraft occupied the foreground. The contrasting art styles inexplicably clicked despite the obvious clumsiness, and the individual behind each part could be easily recognized. Lapis had seized the background to outline nebulae, asteroids, and even a few planets. Peridot, on the other hand, took a more engineered approach, outlining the spacecraft with remarkable accuracy.

Once satisfied, both girls stepped back to admire their work, sleeves splattered with paint and foreheads glistening with sweat.

Peridot looked down at her hands and then at the wall in disbelief. “I can’t believe we did that.”

Lapis pulled a rag out of her bag and proceeded to clean her hands. “How do you feel?”

“Like I can do anything.”

“Good, ‘cause we’re just getting started. Follow me.”

Peridot followed the other with her gaze and frowned when Lapis picked up her bag and began to climb the fire escape ladder to the side of the alley.

 

After reluctantly following Lapis to the roof of the building—cursing Lapis’ extended family and her children in the process—Peridot, upon glancing at the view in front of her, promptly decided to bite her tongue and take back her last insult towards Lapis’ third cousin twice removed.

The building had a clear view of the entire campus, being the last building in the university block. In front of her was a towering water tank, basically preyed by Lapis’ eyes to the point Peridot could see her roommate’s fingers twitch in anticipation. If she didn’t know Lapis, she would applaud her displayed self-control.

“You’re insane.” Was the only thing Peridot said, eyes glued to the rusty ladder that led to the top of the water tank, her legs shaking with the mere thought of attempting to climb it.

“What’ll you give me if I paint Ms. Agate with a stick up her ass.”

“A lifetime supply of bath bombs if I get to paint the stick.”

“You sure know the way to a girl’s heart.”

 

* * *

 

After her morning classes, Peridot collapsed on her bed, nearly falling asleep the moment her body hit the mattress. Staying awake with Lapis had been fun, but it had taken a toll to her sleep schedule. Though it all honestly, pulling all-nighters were basically the same thing. She supposed that the physical exertion was to blame this time in particular.

She groaned when she heard the familiar sound of a notification coming from her phone.

Without raising her head, she dragged her phone to her face and read the message preview, and upon reading the name, deliberately chose to ignore it.

[Amethyst: dude u need to see this shit. 1:42 P.M]

 

* * *

 

“Do you think we went too far?”

“Nah.”

Peridot sat on the floor of the room with her back to the bed and her laptop on her lap. As was routine, Lapis laid on her bed facing the ceiling, probably silently coming up with designs she’d later bring to life during the night. Peridot wondered how she was doing in college. Did she even go to her classes? Was she passing? Or was she just taking advantage of the athletic scholarship? With Lapis’ odd schedule and the endless swim practices, it was possible that she was just with the flow and not really trying to get a degree. Then again, for all Peridot knew, Lapis could be the top student of oceanography or environmental science the institution had ever seen. Now that she thought of it, Peridot wasn’t sure what her roommate was pursuing, or what she did most of the time despite having lived with her for nearly a year.

At least, not outside the everyday double life that that impacted Peridot against her wishes.

“Have you considered pursing art for a living?” Peridot closed her laptop and leaned on Lapis’ bed, her arms folded under her chin.

“Not really.” Lapis’ seemed distant, lost in thought.

Peridot considered pressing further, but it seemed inappropriate at the time. Instead she remained silent and held her hands.

“Why do you do that?” Peridot looked up to find that Lapis had turned over and was now looking at her.

“Do what?”

“That thing, with your hands.”

Peridot looked down and saw that she had intertwined her fingers. She shrugged. “Habit.”

“Hm.”

Sometimes Peridot could tell something was bothering Lapis. There were little things she did that told her that. Sometimes she’d make observations with no reason behind them, or become unresponsive. It wasn’t rare. Peridot tried to seek her out, but failed most of the time. At first, she thought it was homesickness; Lapis would lay in bed for hours, or go for a walk and not come back until hours later. Peridot just assumed she wanted to be alone, so she’d let her.

Other times Lapis would let it be known that it was more than that. But she’d never tell Peridot what.

It took a long time for Peridot to identify it as dissonance. Not belonging.

It was hard to put a name to it, but once she did, everything Lapis did made sense. Unlike most people, Lapis had gone through a rocky transition. She wasn’t a local, and wasn’t comfortable around most people, much like Peridot herself, but unlike Lapis, Peridot had spent more time in the area, and had grown fond of the place. Lapis was still struggling.

“Do you want to go hang with Amethyst and Pearl?”

Lapis shook her head.

“Want to go out at all?”

Another headshake.

“Want me to get coffee and marathon CPH?”

“Only if you get me hot chocolate. Coffee is disgusting.”

Peridot laughed. “Deal. Set it up on my laptop while I’m gone.”

Lapis unlocked Peridot’s laptop and gave her a thumbs-up. Peridot grinned from ear to ear and left the room with a new objective.

 

When Peridot came back she found Lapis hiding under her blanket and her laptop at the farthest corner of her bed. Immediately, Peridot placed both mugs on the bedside and approached Lapis’ gently, urging her to come out.

“You okay?” There was a tiny stir from under the blanket, but no response. “Is it Jasper?”

“No, it’s me.”

Peridot didn’t know how to feel about Lapis’ relationship with Jasper. It didn’t concern her, so she tried her best to stay out of it as much as she could, and most of the time it was fine. From what Peridot saw of them they were…happy. She didn’t see them often, and had a limited knowledge of their history, so she had no firm stand on whether they were okay or not. What she could do, though, was show support when she could. This, along with others, was one of those times.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Peridot tugged gently at the blanket and picked up Lapis’ mug. “Okay. Here.”

Lapis removed the blanket and took the mug with both hands, using it to warm up. Her hair was a mess, but she hadn’t been crying. She just looked tired. “Thanks.”

Peridot grabbed her own mug and took a sip, smiling at Lapis’ grimace.

“I still don’t understand how you can drink that.”

“It’s as bitter as my personality.”

“No way, you’re too sweet.”

“I am _not_ sweet.”

“Maybe that’s how you do it. Your sweetness balances out the caffeine.”

“No. Sweet.”

Lapis pulled herself up and poked Peridot’s cheek. “Does sugar overwhelm your tiny body? Too much sweetness concentrated?”

“I hate you so much.”

“No wonder Steven calls you ‘angry slice of pie’. He _knew_.”

“I’m leaving.” Peridot moved to stand up but Lapis pulled her sleeve.

“Okay sorry, I’m done I swear.” Lapis said, still snickering and mockingly rubbing a tear from her eye.

Peridot huffed. “I don’t deserve being mocked like this. I’m taking this back.” She reached for Lapis’ mug but her hand was slapped away with a frantic, tiny _‘no!’_. “I’m requesting another roommate.”

“You’d crawl back to me the day after.”

“Please, you’d beg for me to let you stay. You can’t get enough of the great and lovable Peridot.”

That made Lapis crack up. “I can’t believe you just called yourself that.”

“I’m making it my legal name. You better start using it.” Lapis continued to laugh wholeheartedly, nearly spilling her drink in the process. Peridot grinned. Lapis didn’t laugh much, but when she did it was heartwarming. Snort and all. Peridot lived for it.

Exhausted from laughing, Lapis sighed. “Enough, pass me the laptop. We’re gonna finish this season.”

 

But they were interrupted by Peridot’s phone. It was Amethyst again. She had sent her a link.

 

Peridot tapped it curiously, and her eyes widened at the page. Lapis noticed this and scooched to look over Peridot’s shoulder. “What is it?”

It was an article by the art department, on the anonymous artist Facebook page. Peridot silently gave Lapis her phone. “Read this.”

 

_Rebellion or Vandalism? A Closer Look to BCU’s Talented Anarchist._

 

The newest article had the word ‘UPDATE’ in bold, and was written by one of the site mods. The article had their newest piece; a caricature of superintendent Agate in a rather humiliating context. Under it, it read;

 

_More Than One? - Art history major J. ‘Skinny’ argues that the newest piece was done by more than one individual, judging by the different lines in the…_

 

The article continued for a few more paragraphs going into detail about the contrasting styles and color use. The art department had undoubtedly caught on to Peridot’s cooperation. It was too late to back out now. Lapis scrolled down to the comment section and read a few from familiar names, and others from anonymous accounts. A lot of people encouraged them, while others—disguised teachers, no doubt—disapproved of the movement.

Peridot was aware of the history of corruption within the institute’s administration. In fact, it was clear that everyone was. It was only a matter of time until someone spoke up. Peridot had attempted to do so on multiple occasions, but given the fact she was directly connected to said administration, it was not only risky, but detrimental to her future at BCU.

Lapis didn’t seem to have anything to lose, which is why her approach was a bit bolder.

“Not yet. We need to make sure people know where we stand.”

“I think we made it very clear last night.”

Lapis gave Peridot her phone and reached for the laptop, opening the stream to the show. “People might think we simply dislike Holly. A lot of people dislike Holly.”

“That explains why Skinny was the first to write about the piece.”

“She probably lost her shit.”

“By the way, you owe me a lot of bath bombs.”

Peridot choked on her coffee.

 

Multiple consecutive episodes of a show in a row gave Peridot enough time to think about things. Inner reflection was something she was good at. Both with herself and the people around her. Despite her struggle with understanding people, Peridot was good at figuring out where she went wrong and proceeding to fix it. But when it came to Lapis, she was at a loss.

She was beyond walking around eggshells when it came to Lapis. The first couple of months were psychologically taxing, despite the smooth introduction. As mentioned before, Peridot had imagined Lapis to be an open person; social and charismatic, given the ease with which she approached her on the first day with the intention to get to know Peridot through her art (Peridot later discovered that that introduction had been rather narcissistic of Lapis). But living with her was an entirely different experience.

Lapis was reserved, and had trouble trusting people. Peridot witnessed this on multiple occasions, when she attempted to invite Lapis to hang out with her and her friends. Lapis would always decline, saying that she was busy or that she didn’t feel well.

Which is why she found it strange that Lapis had grown to trust her and be open with her. At least, for the most part. Peridot didn’t know what to do with that responsibility. She was scared to break that trust unknowingly. She was terrified of screwing up somehow and watch as Lapis shut her out and treated her like she would any other person.

“Peridot?”

Peridot shook her head. “Huh, what?”

“I said this season sucks and you didn’t say anything. Are you okay?” Lapis sounded concerned. Peridot blinked and looked down at the screen; she had been zooning out for the past two episodes.

“I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“Something’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“Peridot.”

Peridot turned her head to the side to look at Lapis. She sighed and closed her laptop. “I just—” Peridot bit her lip. “I don’t know how to—”

“Is it about me and Jasper?” Lapis voice was cold. Peridot could only imagine how much criticism she had to deal with on a daily basis. Criticism wasn’t on Peridot’s mind, though.

“It’s about you,” Peridot said, tearing her eyes away from Lapis’ gaze.

“About me? What about me?” Lapis’ expression changed altogether. There was confusion and a bit of modesty. Lapis wasn’t fond of being the center of attention, much less concern.

Peridot swallowed. “I-I’m…confused, and scared.” She was good with words, but only indirectly. Sometimes she’d record what she wanted to say to save the embarrassment of saying it at the moment, but now wasn’t the time to excuse herself to record a log. Still she continued, “Lapis, do you hate me?”

Lapis blinked, and Peridot looked everywhere but her face. Then she heard Lapis laugh.

“I’m serious!”

Lapis grabbed her sides and nearly cackled. “Why would I hate you?”

“I just, I really care about you but sometimes I feel like you don’t tell me what’s bothering you and it worries me. I know you’re not obligated to tell me what goes on in your life and that it’s really none of my business, and I know you’re more open with me than anyone else and I appreciate that but—”

“Peridot, you’re rambling.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s cute.”

Peridot crossed her arms and looked away. Her face was slightly flushed, and she mumbled quietly under her breath; “’m not cute.”

“No, Peridot. I don’t hate you.” Lapis said, shifting to sit in front of Peridot. She placed her hands on Peridot’s face, thumbs rubbing over her cheeks, and brushed a few messy strands out of her eyes. “I appreciate how much you care. But I have to deal with some things alone.”

Peridot leaned away from Lapis’ touch, feeling a tad awkward and embarrassed. Lapis had none of it, though. She pulled Peridot’s face down and caught her head in a headlock, rubbing her knuckles harshly over her roommate’s scalp.

“This is _exactly_ why I never have heart-to-hearts with you!”

Lapis laughed, releasing Peridot and pressing her lips to her forehead. “I love you, you dork.”

Peridot grumbled. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too or whatever.”

Peridot felt relief settle in her stomach. She didn’t want to lose Lapis. Maybe she couldn’t help her through every single thing she went through, but she would try.

 

Not to mention she had practically sealed her fate when she agreed to be Lapis’ partner in crime.

She just hoped the consequences would be merely superficial.

 

She wasn’t prepared to deal with the emotional turmoil.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if I get sucked into the plot more so than their relationship (we both know why you're really here). It's a bad habit.


	4. First Name Angst, Last Name Lazuli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot considers the possibility of stress-related deaths in her family tree and hopes that she lasts long enough to get her degree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from vacation and right into continuing this as if it was my main source of income.

_"Oh hell no."_

"I can explain—"

"We're so dead."

"—Peridot, listen—"

"Lapis, what were you thinking?! Do you have any idea the kind of trouble you're getting us into? It's hard enough to keep a clean record with your bullshit as it is!"

"Would you calm down? You're scaring him."

"Oh, it's a _him_ , now?!"

Peridot was not having a good morning. In fact, she was having the very opposite of a good morning. At this pace she was convinced she'd die of a stroke or an aneurysm before she reached the age of thirty.

Peridot took a deep breath and collected herself, despite every wish to strangle her roommate. "Okay. Lapis Lazuli, would you kindly explain why there's a corgi in our room?"

 

Working with Lapis had become sort of a habit for Peridot in the last couple of months. She wasn't as 'devout' to the cause as Lapis was, but still enthusiastic enough to offer her time and skill in order to give the administration migraines. If she was being honest with herself, she enjoyed the indirect attention, and suddenly understood her roommate's level of narcissism. Art was truly the bridge between egotism and self-loathing.

That being said, Peridot soon found out Lapis' shenanigans did not stop when her paint-splattered backpack fell to the ground.

She quickly realized this when she woke up to an unfamiliar weight resting over her chest and opened her eyes to orange fur and awful dog breath. There was a brief moment of processing before the imminent scream that Peridot swore woke up half of the building.

"Uh," Lapis began, holding the fugitive in her arms while gently caressing its ears. "it followed me home?"

Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"I'm serious! I was walking back to the dorm and it just ran towards me."

"And you just had to take it with you."

"What'd you expect me to do? To just leave it there?!"

"...Yes?"

"You're heartless."

"And you're an idiot."

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Look, it's gonna be fine. We'll just have to train him to be quiet and make sure Pearl never sees him, it's not that hard."

"What do _you_ know about taking care of dogs?"

"Surely more than you. Bet you've never had one."

Peridot looked away. "...My mother is a germaphobe."

"I rest my case." Lapis sat at the edge of the bed and placed the creature in Peridot's lap. "Look at him and tell me you still want to get rid of him."

Peridot turned her nose up, but still reached slowly to pick up the small corgi. Slipping her hands under the creature's front legs, she brought it up to her face to scrutinized it, looking for flaws in the dog's soul. She raised it higher to give the animal a thorough look and lowered it again to start a staring contest that was promptly interrupted by the dog licking Peridot's nose.

"See, he likes you!"

Peridot was not amused. She lowered it back down to her lap and petted its head experimentally. The dog shook its tail and pushed its head further against Peridot's hand. Her resolve shattered completely the moment the creature rested its head on her leg and yawned.

Peridot groaned. "Fine. The corgi stays. But he's your responsibility."

 

* * *

 

Two weeks afterwards, Pumpkin had become part of their life, and he was no longer just Lapis' responsibility.

"Lapis, where's Pumpkin?"

The sudden addition to the room had come with quirks that Peridot hadn't considered. One; it was a dog. Dogs moved around, as all living things tended to do sometimes. Two; dogs were loud, and three; her roommate wasn't the most perceptive. Lapis, among her many complexities, had a habit to shut everyone out and with it, world matters that could very well be worth noticing. Normally Peridot wouldn't mind—Lapis could do whatever she wanted as long as she didn't disturb Peridot, or, put her own self at risk (the blonde couldn't, for the life of her, get Lapis to stop smoking, so she drew the line there)—but now it was a matter of exposure of a different kind, one that could really inconvenience them both.

So Peridot decided to take matters into her own hands and teach Lapis the importance of responsibility; a term she was sure her roommate was unfamiliar with.

Lapis looked up from her textbook and gave her a quizzical look. "I thought he was with you."

Peridot paced anxiously around the room, sidestepping piles of laundry, remnants of an abandoned game of monopoly, and cans of energy drinks that Lapis was supposed to clean up but that Peridot let slide because there were infinitely more important matters at hand. She kneeled in front of her bed to look beneath it, and when she found nothing, let out an exasperated breath. She tried whistling, but there was no response but Lapis' startled look.

"What?"

"Door's open."

Peridot's heart skipped a beat.

 

There was something very interesting about running around campus on a weekend where everybody else was either sleeping in or waking up in a parking lot hung over and with very little clothing. Peridot chose to preserve the little dignity those unfortunate souls had by walking past them without giving them much of a second look.

Lapis was not so merciful and proceeded to take multiple pictures. "This is a goddamn goldmine."

Peridot didn't even dignify that with a response.

Given that their room was located on the ground floor, it was very likely that the creature had ran straight through the doors after a clueless student left or entered the building. Because of that, their first step was to check the parameters of their dorm. Peridot didn't think it'd be too hard to spot an orange ball of fur hopping around in a sea of pavement and perfectly cut grass.

Apparently she thought wrong.

"Exactly how far can a corgi go in a matter of minutes?"

It had turned into a race against time until somebody else caught the dog, which would only unleash chaos and mayhem upon the student body whose lives were so uneventful that any collective movement of any sort immediately drew their attention away from surely more important matters. In this case, a loose dog on campus.

She supposed it could be worse.

"Lapis, Peridot! Weird to see you both up and about this early in the morning."

She scratched out that thought.

Peridot could see Lapis attempt to sprint back into the building to hide from the world until graduation. For a moment she considered doing the same.

Against her better judgment, Peridot turned around to greet the stranger, resisting the urge to turn the brief interaction into a petty competition."Hi, Pearl."

Pearl smiled. She looked like she hadn't slept in the last two decades.

She probably hadn't.

"Any particular reason you're out in the cold on the weekend?"

"None of your business."

"Lapis."

Pearl chuckled nervously, "No, she's right. I just assumed it had to be important to have dragged Lapis out of bed early."

Peridot could practically hear Lapis growling behind her, so she opted to cut the conversation short. "We were just on our way to the, uh, gym?" She desperately glanced at Lapis for help.

"Yeah, she lost a bet." Lapis said dryly.

Pearl blinked. "Is that so? Best of luck to you, then."

The three were silent for a few minutes and the anxiety was starting to bite at her.

"Look, not to be rude or anything but..."

Pearl seemed to get the hint, and bashfully stepped back."Oh, yes, of course. I won't keep you any longer."

"Cool, thanks, bye." Lapis roughly grabbed Peridot's arm and dragged her away, leaving a perplexed Pearl looking after them.

Once they were far enough from Pearl's visual and auditory range, Peridot pulled her arm back. "Would it kill you to interact like a normal human being for once?"

Lapis shrugged.

"Oh, there he is!" Indeed, the creature appeared to be wallowing in the flower beds around the building.

Peridot took a hold of Lapis' hand and ran towards the orange blur in the distance. The closer they got, the more evident the mess the dog had made was. Flowers were scattered everywhere, as was mud and grass. Pumpkin barely looked orange with the amount of dirt he was covered in. For a brief moment, Peridot felt the stress of a middle-aged woman with three kids.

"Pumpkin, sweetie, you're a mess." Apparently Lapis felt the same way.

Lapis kneeled in front of the delinquent and gently cleaned its face, earning a couple of licks. Peridot sneered.

"What are you doing?" Peridot stared dumbfounded as Lapis struggled to hide Pumpkin inside her zipped hoodie.

"What does it look like? Get over here and give me a hand."

She paced cautiously towards Lapis and raised her hands uselessly, trying to figure out how to help her roommate. After a couple of glares, she finally opted to zip the hoodie as Lapis held the creature against her chest. "There."

"Is it obvious?"

"Painfully."

 

* * *

 

Getting Pumpkin back into the dorm was an Odyssey on its own. Peridot hadn't felt so much like a criminal in her life—not counting the many times she committed vandalism and lied to officials about not living with a multiple-offender, mind you.

When they finally walked through the door, Peridot slammed it shut and leaned against it, still catching her breath.

"Gotta hand it to ya, Peri. Didn't think you had it in you."

"We wouldn't have had to run out and sneak back in if you had looked after Pumpkin."

"Oh, so you're saying it's my fault?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"Chill, dude, nothing happened."

Peridot crossed her arms. "But something could have! You can't keep being irresponsible and hoping everything comes out fine."

Lapis stuck out her tongue. "Watch me."

"Ugh, you're impossible."

Peridot waited for some sort of retort, and was surprised when she was met with silence. She leaned away from the door and glanced at Lapis, who was facing away from her and quietly petting Pumpkin. She lazily played with the creature's ears, seemingly unresponsive, and Peridot almost felt bad about scolding her.

"Lapis?"

Lapis only offered her an acknowledging sound, not even turning to face her. Peridot frowned. She considered nagging, but felt that it wasn't the right moment to henpeck. Instead, she walked to her desk and sat down, hoping that her roommate would break the uncomfortable silence that had descended upon them.

Minutes passed and the circumstances remained the same. A million words died on Peridot's tongue as she mulled over different ice-breakers and conversation-starters. None of which would actually lead to trivial conversation, but that would be ridiculous enough to prompt Lapis to mock them.

"So, uh, bumping into Pearl sure was a close call, wasn't it?"

"Uh-huh."

...

"I wonder what she was doing up that early."

Lapis said nothing aside from some sort of 'I don't know' noise that came from the back of her throat.

...

"Fine, ignore me. See if I care!"

...

Peridot quickly discovered this wasn't working.

She tapped her fingers against her desk and looked around the room. There were traces of different activities the two of them had ditched through the weekend, the monopoly money and figures being one of said activities. There were posters on the walls of bands, crappy romance shows, and sci-fi concepts that weren't exactly realistic but Peridot enjoyed their aesthetic nonetheless. She considered doing the laundry but that would require strolling right into Lapis' personal radius which right now had a similar appeal to walking right into a war-zone. She wasn't exactly afraid of talking to Lapis in this state, but she knew better than to disturb her with silly chores she could perfectly procrastinate.

Peridot occupied her mind with her phone, scrolling through notifications and comments left on their newest collaborative piece. The theories continued, but none of them close to the danger zone of accuracy. Their gallery was growing slowly but surely, and it was beginning to show. At first, you could only find the art works in relatively private places that only students could gaze upon, but now some could even be seen from cars driving close to the campus. It was a big jump, and the risk was higher. She knew she should be worried but for some reason she felt like she was doing good. Lapis' reassurance helped too.

That was something Peridot couldn't wrap her head around; the fact that Lapis' reassurance was enough to convince her to commit a felony. Either her roommate was good with words, or she was a push-over.

She was brought back by something soft brushing against her calf. She looked down to find Pumpkin pushing his nose against her leg, whining softly.

"What's wrong?" Peridot said to nobody in particular, not expecting the creature to really respond.

The dog barked and leaped onto Lapis' bed, lying down. Peridot raised an eyebrow.

Lapis was gone.

 

It wasn't rare for Lapis to leave out of the blue. At first Peridot tried to look for her, worried that something was wrong, but she quickly learned that it was something she just had to deal with. Peridot sighed and slumped against her rolling chair. She looked at the clock; it was still pretty early, and she had nothing to do. Nothing-to-do-days were boring without Lapis.

She opted to text Amethyst in hopes that she wasn't asleep.

[You: Hey, you up?? 11:29 AM]

Unsurprised by Amethyst's inactivity, Peridot tosses her phone onto her bed as she waits for the response she knows wont arrive for a couple more hours.

She doesn't know how long she stays there, staring at her lock-screen and watching the minutes go by. She manages a sideways glance towards Pumpkin, now asleep, and catches something poking out from under Lapis' pillow. Curiosity gets the best of her, making her stand up and make her way to the other side of the room. She snakes her arm under the pillow and pulls out what looks like a notebook. She runs her hands over the worn out navy blue cover; it's blemished, with crooked corners and a stained foredge. The book had clearly survived many years.

She stopped herself right before lifting the cover. This was probably an invasion of privacy. Peridot placed the book in her lap and bit her thumbnail. It couldn't be anything awfully private if Lapis had left it out in the open, she knew Lapis was smarter than that. Unless Lapis had left it there as some sort of trust trial she was on the verge of failing. Anxiety pooled in her gut, but she opted to ignore it. It wasn't like Lapis was going to be back anytime soon anyways.

She took a deep breath and flipped the cover.

It was a sketchbook.

"Oh, this isn't so bad." Peridot's fingers lingered on the first page. She recognized the coast on the illustration; it was the beach where the kid Lapis babysat lived. Only part of the immense statue was capture in the top left corner. The ocean, on the other hand, was the protagonist; the tide was beautifully captured in a subtle use of light and color, waves kissing the shore and then retracting peacefully.

Peridot turned the page and was surprised to see the building they were currently living in.

The flowerbeds around the entrance were still intact.

Going through Lapis' sketchbook felt...wrong. As if she were intruding into something private and vulnerable. She had been living with Lapis for nearly a year and she had never seen this book before. That meant that Lapis didn't want her to see any of its content, no matter how beautiful Peridot thought it was. She decided to compromise her curiosity by flipping to the latest page, the one that was recently used based on how clean—but nonetheless crooked—the page corner was.

Peridot's eyes widened. It was a sketch of their latest piece.

She recognized it immediately. The composition was the same, if not a bit simplified, as were the colors. In truth, every page before that one was an early sketch of Lapis' creations. Peridot knew she must've had planned her work somewhere, but she assumed most of it was improvised. She could practically see Lapis' thought process; every rejected idea, later improved and finalized, could be seen through messy lines and eraser marks. It was strange to see such thought out process in that context; what Peridot assumed were unruly urges of rebellion were actually meticulously planned schemes.

With some new found respect for her roommate, Peridot closed the journal and placed it back under Lapis' pillow.

This gave me a whole new perspective of what she knew of Lapis as a person.

 

* * *

 

"It was _so_ funny, dude," Amethyst said in between breaths, "you had to be there."

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Right."

True to her person, Amethyst responded to Peridot's text by barging into her dorm with a pack of beer and a couple of DVDs. Peridot didn't know why her friend was so bent on using DVDs when they could very well stream or download, and she made her bafflement known, to which Amethyst only replied _'it's so much more satisfying, man'_ in a surprisingly serious tone.

Peridot decided not to press matters further.

They were in the middle of switching disks, but in reality it wasn't like they were really paying attention to the movie. They mostly chatted on the ground as it served as background noise.

"By the way, where's angst?"

Peridot shrugged. "Haven't seen her since this morning."

Amethyst placed the disk inside the DVD player Peridot had brought for the sake of nostalgia, and sat directly across from her, making it clear that she wasn't going to let Peridot get distracted. "Are you two like...alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know, Lapis always seems so distant all the time."

Peridot gave a reassuring smile, both for Amethyst and for herself. "That's just how she is sometimes."

Amethyst nodded slowly, but didn't seem convinced. "You sure know how to pick 'em."

"Hey, Lapis is a lovely individual who also happens to be very complex."

As if summoned, the door opened to reveal Lapis looking...better? Peridot couldn't tell.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Amethyst snickered, "speak of the devil."

"Hi, Lapis." Peridot waved, trying to mask her worry with a smile.

Lapis lifted her chin. "Yo."

Any other person in the world would be happy to have both of their best friends in the same room at the same time, but Peridot only felt tense and uncomfortable. Perhaps she met them both in different circumstances, which hindered the dynamic she was going for when it came to hanging out with both individuals. Perhaps Lapis was just uncomfortable and Amethyst felt hostile. Either way, she'd still play along and hope nobody was hurt by the end of the day.

The three were silent as Lapis settled in; taking off her jacket and flopping onto her bed.

"I suppose that's my cue to leave." Amethyst said after a while, moving to stand up from her spot in front of Peridot. She picked up her belongings, as well as the DVD cases, leaving the last one out for when Peridot was done with it. "Catch ya later, P-Dot."

Then, in the doorway. "Later, Laz."

"Bye."

And then she shut the door, leaving the room with a thick fog of unease that threatened to consume Peridot.

Peridot fidgeted with the hem of her hoodie. She considered asking where Lapis was, but realized that the answer would tell her almost nothing of Lapis' well-being. She watched as Pumpkin leaped onto Lapis' bed and pushed his nose into the side of her face. For a moment she feared for the dog's safety, but relaxed when Lapis raised her arm to wrap it around the small creature. It was heartwarming, but it conflicted with Lapis' behavior, and it made Peridot more confused about meddling into her roommate's affairs.

"Your thoughts are too loud."

Peridot jumped. "W-What?"

Lapis' voice was muffled by the fact her face was pressed against her pillow. "I can practically hear the cogwheels turning in your head."

"Um..." Peridot was at a loss for words. She stood up and busied her mind by picking up the trash on the ground and putting Amethyst' DVD on her desk. "I, uh...sorry."

Lapis was silent again. She had probably fallen asleep.

Peridot exhaled. She couldn't deal with this.

She picked up her tablet and sat on her bed. Social media would clear her mind.

 

She doesn't feel the bed sinking behind behind her, too entranced by an engaging comment-thread about a story that was very likely to be false. She tensed up when a pair of hands made their way up her back to rest on her shoulders.

"L-Lapis?"

"Relax."

The hands on her shoulders pressed down against her skin, each finger pressing a different spot every time. One of them snaked around her waist and made her put down the tablet before returning to its point of focus. Peridot's hands rested in her lap, fists tightening and loosening with the rhythm. Her breath quickened, and her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

This relaxing activity seemed to be getting the exact opposite result.

Peridot said nothing as Lapis massaged her shoulders, moving up to her neck and then down to her shoulder blades and back. It took a while for Peridot to actually relax, but eventually she breathed out and leaned against Lapis' touch.

She hadn't realized just how stressed she had been with Lapis' situation until she opened her eyes and found herself resting against her roommate's chest. Lapis' hands had moved from Peridot's shoulders to her upper arms, sides, and now rested at her hips. Peridot's breath sped up again. She instinctively wrapped her arms around herself and pulled away from Lapis' chest.

Peridot bit her lip. She took deep breaths to calm down, confused by the sudden need to stay away from Lapis.

"Peridot."

Peridot stayed silent, not trusting herself to speak in her current state.

Lapis slowly wrapped her arms around Peridot's waist, hands resting over her arms, coaxing her to loosen up. Peridot complied, still feeling slightly uncomfortable. Once her arms were out of the way, Lapis pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Peridot's middle, and resting her head on her shoulder.

Peridot sat there, heart beating fast and limbs shaking with something that felt like fear but wasn't.

"L-Lapis, let go."

It took a couple of minutes, but eventually Lapis did release her, leaving a chaste kiss on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Peridot sniffed. Was she crying? She rubbed her eyes and was surprised to find tears running down her cheeks.

"I think so. Just...overwhelmed."

"Sorry."

Peridot shook her head and turned around, sitting between Lapis' legs. Peridot reached for her roommate's hands, not daring to look up. "...Are you?"

"I'll be okay."

Peridot looked up. Lapis wasn't looking at her, but down at their hands. "I mean now, Lapis."

Lapis let out a shaky breath. "I'm getting there."

Peridot considered asking about her sudden urge to be affectionate, but didn't think it was appropriate. Instead she gently rubbed Lapis' hands with her thumbs, hoping to convey what she was feeling right now. Whatever it was.

Lapis leaned down to press her forehead against Peridot's, making her jump. Peridot gulped, but stayed still, scared that any movement would break the moment.

"You went through my sketchbook."

  
Peridot choked on spit.

 

* * *

 

"For the last time, it's fine." Lapis said, exasperated, as Peridot apologized for the tenth time about going through her things without consent.

"I was going to tell you but you weren't in a good mood so I wasn't sure if it'd make it worse...ugh, just. I'm sorry."

Lapis smiled and placed a hand on Peridot's head. "Hey, it's not a big deal. It's just an old sketchbook. No need to freak out."

Things were...better. Peridot knew something was still bothering Lapis, but at least she was talking to her again. She couldn't handle Lapis' silence; at first she had opted to be tolerant and to let her roommate deal with her problems alone, but it was getting hard to handle. She needed to know that Lapis was fine. And she would continue to ask, no matter how many times Lapis said she was okay.

Lapis had pulled out her sketchbook and had sat next to Peridot, opening it between the two of them and encouraging the blonde to look through her pieces. Peridot took no time to flip through, commenting on each a every little part with enthusiasm, and praising Lapis' technique.

Lapis only blushed in response, rubbing the back of her neck. "They're really old..."

"Don't do that, they're amazing!"

"Y'know what, here, look." Lapis flipped to a new page and gave Peridot a different colored pencil. "Let's do this."

"Wait, are you sure?" Peridot looked down at the empty page and up at Lapis.

Lapis shrugged. "I mean, you're already helping me paint them. It's only fair."

"I'm not...very good at this..." Peridot hesitated, holding her hands together.

"You'll do great, I trust you. Just add whatever you want."

Lapis began to sketch freely. Her marks stretched to the ends of the page, returning to the center and then extending again like a pair of wings. Indeed, the sketch was beginning to look more and more like a actual pair of wings.

Suddenly inspired, Peridot brought her pencil down to the center of the page and slowly began to draw. She looked at Lapis every now and then, captivated by her untroubled expression. The more she looked at her roommate, the clearer the image in her head became. After a few minutes, she could see the details of a girl in a long skirt standing at the center of Lapis' wings.

Her face was solemn, while also intense. Her characteristics were familiar.

 

Peridot smiled and picked up the blue color pencil.

 

Things were going to be just fine.

 


	5. Alcohol, Irony, and other Modernist Concepts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot weighs the good old college dilemmas of defying a strict family, dealing with a secretive hooligan, and being afraid of picking the wrong bottle of liquor when asked to grab something at the supermarket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might not be Friday where I live but that won't stop me from pretending it is.

As November came to a close, the fundamentals of living with another person became clear to Peridot. If she paid enough attention, she could point out her roommate's little quirks and mannerisms. Why she had decided to pay attention to these little things, she didn't know, but she looked for them just the same. They made her chest swell up with warmth.

Which is to say that Peridot had a field day when she found out how much Lapis despised the cold.

"Are you going to stay here all day?"

Peridot leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms. She had originally planned to pass the time outside of the dorm for a change. Amethyst practically forcing her to leave her room had also played a significant part of that decision, but she acknowledged that fresh air would be beneficial, especially after all the stress surrounding Lapis and her second life as a felon. She had expected Lapis to follow, but judging by her reluctance to leave the pile of blankets and comforters, it was clear that the artist's relationship with the cold weather was strained.

"Yes. My daily activities will resume in February. Now, bye."

Peridot groaned.

The weather had undeniably dropped in the last couple of weeks, but it wasn't unbearable by Peridot's standards. Nothing a coat and a scarf couldn't fix. Yet Lapis had waged war against the sheer idea of winter. Peridot sighed and walked to take a seat on the corner of Lapis' bed, making an effort to inconvenience the other as much as humanly possible by resting over the mass pile of blankets. Peridot remained quiet, smoothing the creases on her gray overcoat and running her fingers over the fabric of an old beanie. Lapis ignored her presence, attempting to pull the comforter closer to her face and failing in the process. To this, Lapis huffed; a petty growl leaving the back of her throat in a pitiful attempt to express her dismay.

Peridot bit her cheek to hide a grin, and continued to feign ignorance. She patted the space next to her, luring Pumpkin to leap onto the bed, and earning another miffed groan from the victimized girl.

"Pumpkin, no..." Lapis mumbled weakly, trying to stop the creature from gnawing at her feet.

"I'm not getting up until you do," Peridot said firmly. There was no forcefulness behind it, however. It was all to push the other girl's limits for her own amusement.

"Fine by me." Stubborn silence settled between them until Lapis finally rolled over to glare daggers at the side of Peridot's face.

Lapis' expression grew soft from what Peridot could see, but by the time she caught the other's gaze, she had already turned her head to the side, leaving the blonde at a loss.

"We're going to that one coffee place you like."

  
Lapis couldn't get up fast enough.

 

  
The walk to That One Coffee Place down the street was quiet and uneventful, at least for Peridot. On her part, Lapis was having a very hostile encounter with the cold breeze that blew every now and then.

Lapis buried her hands deeper inside her pockets and shivered. "I hate everything about today."

"It's not _that_ cold."

"Not all of us can be cold-adjusted goblins."

"...Uncalled for."

A particularly bitter wind current assaulted them, and Peridot was thankful for the beanie holding her hair down. Lapis had become a shivering mess, glaring a bit more intensely than before, and desperately hiding her face beneath her scarf. She brought it over her nose without removing her hands from her pockets, a feat that both impressed, and amused Peridot tremendously.

A jab of pity struck her, making her stop in the middle of the sideway and turn towards her friend.

Peridot beckoned her forward with her hands. "Here, get down to my level."

Lapis shot her a look, but obliged nonetheless, awkwardly bending her knees in order to be at Peridot's eye level. The position was silly and uncomfortable, and Lapis' limbs trembled as she tried to maintain her position. Peridot reached for Lapis' scarf and pulled it, undoing whatever sad attempt at a knot Lapis was going for. Lapis nearly protested, but stopped when Peridot encircled her arms around her neck and brought her face closer than was appropriate.

"It'll be useless if you don't know how to tie it properly..." Peridot trailed off as she concentrated on wrapping the fabric around Lapis' neck, her breath warming up the other girl's skin. The blonde was so fixed on what she was doing that she didn't hear Lapis gulp, nor did she notice her shifting her gaze to avoid looking at the other's face, only inches away from her own. "There we go."

With one last gentle tug, Peridot leaned away from Lapis and resumed her walk. She tilted her head to the side when she saw that Lapis wasn't next to her.

"Are you coming?"

Lapis shook her head and composed herself. "Y-Yeah. How come you're an expert at scarf craftsmanship?"

"Where I come from, this is what summer feels like."

Lapis shivered.

  
By the time they got to their destination, the temperature had dropped considerably, so Lapis sprinted into the coffee shop, thanking every god and idol for the invention of central heating systems.

"I can't believe I'm still alive."

Peridot rolled her eyes, and looked around in search for—

"Peridot! Lapis! Over here!"

—Amethyst.

She sheepishly turned to the sound of her name and waved at a circular table nearing the end of the shop. Amethyst sat facing the door, wearing what could be considered both a summer outfit, and an insult to anyone with a slight bit of sense and ability to endure atmospheric conditions. Pearl and Garnet were locked in a very passionate discussion about psychology by the time Lapis and Peridot reached the table—process that consisted of Peridot hesitating to disturb the peace while Lapis obnoxiously yanked a chair from a nearby table, flipping it backwards, and choosing to sit like a hooligan.

Eventually Peridot gave in and pulled another chair to sit with the rest.

"I just don't think it's a legitimate science, that's all."

Peridot shot Amethyst a look. She simply shrugged.

Lapis leaned over to Amethyst while resting her face on her palm. "How long have they been going at it?"

The other two women remained completely unaware of the newest addition to the table.

"They started talking on the way here. This is my second cup of coffee." Amethyst said, downing the last bit of her cup to emphasize her point and then slamming it down on the wooden table. Some costumers stared, including a blonde behind the counter who glared at Amethyst but continued with her work. "Okay, that's enough nerd talk, guys."

Instantly, Garnet shifted her attention from Pearl to the other three people at the table, leaving an irritated Pearl to fume helplessly. "G-Garnet, I wasn't finished!"

That too, however, was ignored.

Garnet rotated her body to accommodate the presence of the two, crossing her legs under the table and wrapping her hands around a small coffee mug. Garnet tilted her head and grinned, "Lapis. Peridot."

Pearl followed, composing herself by running a hand through her short, strawberry blonde hair and rubbing her hands on her jeans. Once calm, she smiled at the newcomers, "Hello, you two."

Peridot smiled shyly, while Lapis waved.

"So, what are y'all doing for winter break?"

"Recounting my regrets."

"Same old, huh?"

Lapis placed a small sugar cube on a spoon and hurled it at Amethyst. "I don't like you."

With a swift twist of her torso, Amethyst skillfully caught the cube in her mouth and grinned. Lapis groaned and crossed her arms over the backrest of her chair. Peridot became an spectator the moment the comfortable silence settled in. She drummed her fingers gently against the surface of the table, starting a basic rhythm just engrossing enough to distract herself from her bearings. She studied Garnet's face—or rather, what she could, given that the woman was wearing sun glasses. She almost pointed out why she was wearing shades in doors, but it was clear that the response would be both underwhelming and cryptic, much like Garnet's usual responses. She didn't indulge with Garnet much. Come to think of it, it had been a while since she last hung around the three women. Perhaps Peridot had slowly isolated herself in the last couple of weeks for multiple reasons; justifiable reasons, she'd tell herself.

She shifted her attention to Pearl, who was now chastising Amethyst for her stunt with the sugar cube. She wasn't paying attention to a word being said, but Pearl wasn't angry. Amethyst too was relishing in the attention. A hand on her shoulder brought her back; Lapis was saying something she couldn't make out.

Peridot snapped out of it and blinked.

"I'm gonna get something at the counter. Want anything?"

Peridot shook her head, "No, it's okay."

Lapis studied her for a few seconds. Her gaze was serious but concerned, but before she could reassure her, Lapis turned around and made her way down the counter. Peridot watched her, shoulders high and head low like she wanted to hide from the world, and only turned back when Amethyst's frantic waving caught her attention.

Peridot breathed out, "What is it, Amethyst?"

"Are you going back home for break?"

"I don't know." Peridot lied. She was fully aware a plane home awaited her the moment classes ended. It just was a matter of how willing she was about that decision. The idea of flying back was impractical. There was no reason why she'd have to travel nine hours for a two week vacation when she could perfectly well stay and find something else to do. She wasn't that excited to see her family anyways. "Are you?"

Amethyst leaned back against her chair and threw her arms behind her head. "Nope. We were planning on driving north. You know Buck?"

"Dewey?"

"Mhmm. He's hooking us up with a cabin."

"Totally not sketchy at all."

"What's not sketchy at all?" Suddenly there was a tall cup of coffee in front of her, as black as Lapis' nail polish, and as hot as hot things were. Peridot opened her mouth but Lapis beat her to it. "Trust me, you look like you desperately need it."

"Buck's cabin up north. We're driving. You should come."

Lapis blinked. "Oh. Cool. Is it haunted?"

"Lapis."

"What? It's a perfectly valid question." Lapis took a sip from her cup—either tea or chocolate, no doubt—and pressed on. "If it doesn't have at least two tormented souls and a banshee I'm not interested."

"Don't worry, once we make our way there there will be two. Don't know about the banshee, though."

Garnet sensed Peridot's discomfort and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't listen to her, Peridot. I'll personally make sure nothing happens to us."

Peridot saw a glimmer of light fly across the tall woman's shades. She brushed it off as lack of sleep.

Peridot swallowed dryly and reached for her cup. Fingerless gloves protected her from the heat emanating from the porcelain as she idly hooked two fingers into the handle and stared deep into the near-black liquid. She lifted it and brought it close to her face, mere inches away where the steam fogs up her glasses.

She heard Lapis snort next to her but ignored it, tilting the cup and bringing it to her lips. The scorching liquid serves both as a potent wake up call and a remedy to her tired conscience. When the cup makes its way back to the table she's revitalized.

"As long as I don't have to deal with you two arguing the entire time."

She glared at both Pearl and Amethyst playfully before taking off her fogged up glasses. Her wit was back at full force.

 

The rest of the day went slow, heavy with the nearing midterms and assignments that nobody wanted to deal with, and the break that was closing in but that was still too far away to grow excited over. Peridot grew more concerned with the scheme she'd have to come up with if she wanted to join her friends in their escapade.

"I thought you'd be going home for break." Peridot said, kicking off her shoes and dropping her winter coat on the backrest of a chair. After the meet up, Lapis and Peridot went their separate ways for their respective classes—or at least, presumably. Lapis could've spent her day chasing pigeons and hurtling crumpled paper at unsuspecting bystanders for all she knew. Which is why she was surprised to come back and see Lapis working on her bed with a laptop on her lap and a book on physical oceanography practically covered in highlighter.

Lapis didn't look at her when she answered, "I was. But I don't want to."

Peridot ignored the way Lapis furrow her eyebrows, choosing instead to finish removing the extra layers of clothing she was wearing and greeting the corgi sleeping on her bed.

She was relieved to find that she still had time to both rest and finish her work after looking at the clock. Would Lapis take a break from her artistic duty due to the weather? Imagining her roommate attempting to work while battling the raw cold of the night brought a grin to her face.

"What are you smiling about?" Peridot's face fell back into a frown and she shook her head.

Lapis' phone buzzed, then.

Lapis leaped to the edge of her bed, shoving carelessly multiple items with her momentum and quickly checking her notifications.

Silence, and then Lapis was talking again. "Jasper's throwing a party."

"It's _Tuesday_."

"Biblical lecture, then. Instead of consecration wine we have vodka."

"And instead of bread?"

"Human flesh," Lapis said, unblinking. "Same thing, anyways."

Peridot scoffed, then raised her eyebrows when Lapis started walking to her closet. "Wait, you're actually going?"

Lapis pulled her tank-top over her head and tossed multiple articles of clothing onto her bed. "Why not? I'm feeling rebellious." Peridot diverted her gaze when Lapis removed her shorts, staring hot-faced at the carpeted floor. "In the mood for sticking it to the man and make rash decisions."

She finally settled on ripped jeans, crop top and a leather jacket. A name played on the tip of Peridot's tongue. Something along the lines of arrogant loiterer with an affinity for leather jackets and property damage.

Lapis gave her a look. "Well? Aren't you coming?"

"I don't see the appeal of getting shit-faced and watching other people get shit-faced."

"It's almost poetic, honestly. Downright modernist."

Peridot frowned. "Yeah, no thanks."

"Alright, see you later, then."

"I'll check on you, so keep your phone unmuted." Lapis shoved her phone in the pocket of her jeans and gave Peridot a thumbs-up before leaving the room.

The door closed with a click and Peridot stared at the place where Lapis stood only moments prior, before turning to her laptop.

 

  
Peridot idly ran her hand through Pumpkin's fur, while her other hand scrolled through the many pages of engineering jargon that she wasn't paying attention to. There was a song she didn't know playing in her earbuds and she lazily tapped her foot to its rhythm.

Boredom consumed her. After spending hours finishing a paper she didn't have to turn in until midnight, she faced the inevitable free time she didn't know what to do with. She glanced at the clock; it was still relatively early. Too early to sleep, but too late to really do much else.

Three texts was how far she got before Lapis stopped responding . Her roommate was either drunk or her phone was dead, though she'd place a bet on the former.

She glanced from the door to the laptop in a silly game of metaphorical air hockey that did nothing to crystallize her decision. Peridot ran her hand through her hair and gripped lightly before letting go, her hand dropping with the same speed as her resolve.

"Screw it." She shut her laptop and then placed her feet firmly on the ground. Swallowing whatever bit of hesitation that was left in her system, she stood up, took the jacket resting on the chair, and headed towards the door.

She glanced back at Pumpkin one last time before breathing in and leaving the room, locking the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

The music playing from her phone soothed her nerves, but they still intensified the closer she got to Jasper's chapter house. Peridot cautiously removed one earbud and was greeted by the thundering music coming from inside the residence. The door was wide open, and a couple of guys were wrestling on the front lawn. Moving became a struggle once anxiety settled in her legs, freezing her on the spot.

Ten minutes, she told herself. Perhaps less. She'd walk in, check on Lapis, and then leave.

With that compromise, she tightened her fists and firmly marched onto the porch, sidestepping solo cups, beer bottles, and limbs from some poor devil.

The feeling of regret was immediate. The music deafened her, and the amount of people crowding the corridor was overwhelming. Peridot pressed on, moving amongst the sea of people however she could, pushing past them, and ducking under elbows until she reached a wall where she could look around without being harassed or offered a drink.

She had to admit, at least Jasper was nice enough to throw open parties. Crashing a private party wasn't something she was willing to attempt.

Peridot leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. She immediately spotted Lapis when she looked up. The girl was sitting on a couch directly across from her, sitting on Jasper's lap, and in utter hysterics. Part of Peridot was relieved; she seemed fine. Like she was having a great time, and she almost left right there and then, afraid that Lapis would think that she was worried.

The other part wanted to make sure she was actually fine.

The blonde made her way across the crowd again, this time being smarter about her evasion. When she finally approached the living room, Lapis noticed her and smiled warmly.

"Peridot! You actually came!"

Jasper too, gave her a look of approval and tilted her head, "Good to see you, twerp."

"You too," kind of lie. "I don't plan on staying," she yelled over the music, "I was just checking that you were okay."

That wasn't as much of a lie.

Realization flashed through Lapis' face, "Right, phone died and I completely forgot to charge it. Sorry about that."

Peridot shook her head, "I figured." She said, looking down like her feet were suddenly the most fascinating thing the world. "Well uh, I guess I'll just go now."

Lapis jumped to her feet and gripped Peridot's wrists. She didn't look intoxicated, but her breath was heavy with the strong smell of whiskey, which told Peridot otherwise. "Stay. Please."

Peridot didn't give in to social pressure. She was smart enough to know when to go home and avoid uncomfortable situations.

But the look Lapis was giving her was soft, a contrast to her usual scowl and sharp tongue. Peridot studied her, with dark circles under her eyes and hair disheveled, she looked like she always did. Kind of a mess, but with sharp gray eyes that pierced the little bit of willpower Peridot had. With one last sigh, Peridot resigned.

"Okay."

Lapis grinned from ear to ear. The soft look was soon replaced with a mischievous one. She wrapped her arm around Peridot's shoulders as she pulled her to the couch. "We're gonna get you to loosen up tonight, okay?"

"I don't think you're giving me much of a choice."

Lapis laughed and reached for a solo cup. "You know you always have a choice."

The ghost of a smile tugged at Peridot's lips. With an unknown confidence, she reached for Lapis' cup and downed it in a single gulp. Lapis stared at her, eyes wide and mouth agape. "What? I'm already here, so might as well."

Before Lapis could say anything, Jasper buried her hand in Peridot's hair, tousling it up as she hollered like a cryptid in a forest.

"Hell yes!"

Her throat burned and her eyes watered, but Peridot ignored it. She couldn't identify the after taste, and figured that whatever Lapis was drinking must've been some sort of concoction.

Peridot's expression must have been as bad as she felt, because Lapis only had to look at her once to stand back up. "C'mon, lets get you something softer." She gently wrapped her fingers around Peridot's wrist and her pulled up.

Lapis led her through the crowd into a small kitchen at the end of the main corridor. It was surprisingly empty—Peridot almost expected to interrupt a make-out session or a drinking contest, but was relieved to find herself alone with Lapis.

She leaned against the counter while Lapis scoured the bottles of cheap alcohol lined up on the kitchen island. She finally settled on a bottle with clear liquid. Lapis poured the drink into a cup and then made her way to the fridge to grab what seemed like a carton of orange juice. She closed the fridge with a kick and walked back to filled up the rest of the cup. Lapis froze for a moment, before reaching into a cooler on the other side of the table and pulling out a bottle of beer.

Finally, she placed the solo cup and the beer in front of Peridot, and then crossed her arms.

"One of us has to lead the other back to the dorm," Lapis said, unexpectedly serious.

Peridot frowned, but slowly realized what Lapis meant. "You're making me choose?"

"If you wanna get shit-faced, I'll take care of you."

"Aren't you drunk?"

"Nah, almost tipsy, though."

Peridot weighed her options: she trusted Lapis enough to take care of her, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to take care of Lapis. Perhaps she desperately needed to loosen up. Having made up her mind, Peridot reached for the solo cup, not breaking eye contact with her roommate until the drink was touching her lips. It was almost sweet, and significantly better than whatever Lapis had been drinking.

"I want to forget I'm a college student. Just for today."

"I've got you, buddy." Lapis pushed the bottle against Peridot's cup in a silent toast, and then took a swing.

 

* * *

   
She doesn't remember leaving Jasper's chapter, but she distinctively remembers something warm around her waist and the chill air of the night prickling her skin. Peridot was drunk, and of that she was certain.

Someone cursed next to her, so she focused and caught sight of black and blue. "Lapis?"

Lapis stopped walking and tentatively released Peridot's waist. "You are one hell of a lightweight, you know that? Can you walk?"

"I don't know."

Lapis hummed, "not gonna risk it. I'm carrying you."

"What a gentleman—gentlewoman?" Peridot giggled, and found herself facing Lapis' back.

Lapis crouched in front of her and gave her a side glance, "wrap your arms around my neck. It'll be easier this way."

Peridot complied, albeit clumsily. She hugged Lapis' neck and wrapped her legs around her waist.

She gasped when she was hoisted up, and reflexively tightened her hold.

"Peridot. My neck."

"S-Sorry," Peridot mumbled shyly.

She didn't know if the warmth rising to her cheeks was caused by the alcohol or the cold. She rested her head against Lapis' and relaxed, breathing in the smell of her hair. The smell of smoke was hard to wash off, but Peridot found that she didn't mind so much in this state. She lazily released one arm and knotted her fingers through Lapis' hair, idly playing with it. The top was regaining the softness the tips lacked, but it was only a matter of time until Lapis bleached and dyed it again.

"If you pull my hair I'm dumping you into the water fountain."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," with that, Lapis released her thighs and laughed when Peridot shrieked and held onto her for dear life.

"You're such a dick!"

"Be quiet, you're gonna wake up the whole dorm." Lapis shushed her. Her arms were back on Peridot's thighs, pushing her up a little to secure her hold.

"Fuck you."

Lapis' grin was evident in her voice. "Will you hold me after?"

 

Peridot bit her cheek. "Maybe."

 

Lapis said nothing.

 

There it was again: that uncomfortable silence from before.

No snide remarks, no sarcasm nor suggestive comment. Lapis simply carried her to the dorm silently, as if Peridot hadn't said anything. For a moment, she almost said it again, just louder this time. Perhaps Lapis hadn't heard her. She thought of something more suggestive, to turn everything around into a joke again. Peridot was at a loss, so she agreed to be carried back while her face burned with embarrassment and her sweaty hands held each other tightly around Lapis' neck.

Once inside of the room, Lapis lowered her gently on the bed and then sat next to her.

"You alright? Need water or anything?"

Peridot could still feel the effects of alcohol. She was still dizzy, and still confused about earlier, but she felt bold enough to experiment. She sat up and moved closer to Lapis, trying hard to get her roommate to look her in the eye.

"I'm fine I just want to..." Peridot trailed off as she slowly reached for Lapis' face, holding her chin and turning it so that she was facing Peridot. "I want to see something."

Lapis raised an eyebrow, but didn't pull away. "See what?"

There was nothing telling Peridot to stop. She simply leaned close and studied every detail of Lapis' face. Suddenly the proximity didn't bother her. Maybe it was the alcohol, or something deep inside her that resurfaced. Peridot's hands moved from Lapis' chin to her cheeks, thumbs grazing softly over the skin.

  
"You...have very pretty eyes."

  
There was a second in which Lapis tried to contain herself, but she soon lost it; she let out a low giggle that slowly developed into raucous laughter. Lapis reached for Peridot's hands and lowered them to her lap, bending over a little as she cracked up.

"Okay I think—I think it's time for you to sleep." Lapis said, still trying to catch her breath.

Peridot blinked, confused. "You do, though." She opened her mouth to yawn, "you're very beautiful."

"Uh-huh. Definitely drunk." Lapis shifted and stood up. She placed a hand on Peridot's forehead and pushed her back. "G'night."

As she fell, Peridot reached for the collar of Lapis' jacket and pulled.

Lapis gasped as she sank into the bed, "Peridot!"

Peridot grinned, face buzzed and spaced out. "Be quiet, you're gonna wake up the whole dorm."

"You think you're clever, huh?"

Lapis waited for a retort, but instead she only got soft breathing.

"Peridot?"

Lapis pulled herself up and found Peridot fast asleep over the covers.

"Unbelievable," Lapis mumbled, sitting up and reaching to run her fingers through Peridot's hair.

After careful reflection, Lapis leaned over and pressed her lips to Peridot's cheek.

"You won't remember any of this, anyways." She whispered quietly.

Her roommate stirred, but remained asleep. Shoes and jacket ended up on the ground near her bed as Lapis made her way to her bed. She flopped onto the mattress and immediately groaned into her pillow.

 

She wasn't drunk enough to deal with this.


	6. Jasmine Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot decides to apprehensively indulge her friends in their road trip, but isn’t ready to deal with the emotional baggage that her decision entails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, glad to see people are still reading this. I tried to get this in a lot earlier, but life got in the way (namely, college). I tried to really push the plot through to compensate. I hope you stick around despite my erratic updates. 
> 
> Thank you for being patient.

"Y'know, for someone who's waged war on the season of winter, you're way too eager to drive up north."

"Anything to get out of this place. Honestly, it's depressing." Lapis said, dumping an unnecessary amount of clothes onto her bed to later shove into a hiking bag. Peridot knew they weren't going hiking, but she wasn't about to tell Lapis that.

Peridot rolled over and reached for her glasses resting on her bedside. She didn't expect winter break to come so quickly, especially after she had successfully avoided giving a straight answer when she was confronted on the decision of joining her friends on their road trip. She had stuck to vague responses that sounded disinterested enough to dodge the details. No details meant no plan, and Peridot was fine with that.

"Aren't you getting up? We're leaving in like, an hour." Lapis said, giving Peridot a side glance.

Peridot blinked and stared at her roommate as she hurriedly packet items she was sure weren't necessary to this kind of trip. Was that a swimsuit?

"Lapis, I'm not going." She said, surprising herself with how stern she sounded.

Lapis stopped, "What?"

"There's no way my mom's going to let me." Peridot said, looking away briefly.

She decided to distract herself from Lapis' intense glare by getting out of bed and stretching. She paced to the other side of the room to reach for her bathroom belongings and made a bee-line to the door.

"Oh no, you're not." Lapis sidestepped to block the entrance, making Peridot bump right into her.

"Would you kindly step aside and let me go on with my morning routine?" Peridot crossed her arms and tapped her foot. She knew better than to let Lapis give her a run down of the event. Her roommate would find a way to convince her and Peridot knew better than to allow herself be swayed. Yet, instead of purposefully shoving Lapis aside and heading down the hall, she let her humor her. Why she chose to willingly walk into that trap was beyond her.

"You can't leave me alone with those idiots."

"Those idiots are our friends," Peridot said calmly, pivoting around Lapis' arms in order to leave the room. "and, you won't be alone. Jasper will be there."

Lapis shifted and blocked her once more, "you know how she gets when she's with Amethyst."

"I'm sure you'll manage." Peridot moved again, this time managing to squeeze through the gap between Lapis' arm and the door frame.

"Please," Lapis said quietly, hand gently gripping the hem of Peridot's t-shirt.

There it was again, that softness at the edge of her roommate's voice; so uncharacteristically sweet. Peridot's eyes are glued to the ground because she knows that if she dares to look up she'll crumble beneath pleading gray eyes that'll burn a hole right through her heart if she were to deny her.

"No."

Lapis' pleading look falls so quickly it's almost comical. Lapis doesn't bother recovering, allowing her expression to be replaced by frown, "oh, come on."

Peridot takes the brief distraction as an opening to leave the room and head down to the bathroom.

"I'm packing your bag for you!" Lapis calls after her.

Peridot quickens her pace and ignores her.

 

When Peridot steps back into the room, a large duffel bag is dropped at her feet. She regards it momentarily, taking in the faded blue and the worn out straps.

"This isn't mine," Peridot deadpans as she steps over it on her way to her desk.

"Your backpack wasn't big enough so I'm letting you borrow one of mine." She heard Lapis say with her head under her bed, looking for something senselessly. Her voice is muffled by the position, and Peridot wonders what exactly could be so important that would make Lapis search under her bed.

"I said I wasn't going," Peridot reaffirmed. She looked around, nervous. Maybe Lapis thought she was kidding.

When she didn't hear a response from Lapis she chose to sit down in front of her desk and skim over the papers cluttering its surface. She wasn't processing the words as much as she was trying to look as busy as possible so that the other got the hint that she had no intention of joining in on the trip. She didn't hear Lapis make her way to her, and only noticed her presence when she caught a glimpse of her feet from her peripheral. Her toenails were painted black. Unsurprising. Peridot looked up and found Lapis staring down at her with her arms crossed and a solemn expression on her face.

"What?" Peridot asked, eyes moving between her roommate's gaze and the papers in her grip.

"What is it that you're not telling me?" Lapis' eyes were hard. It made Peridot uncomfortable.

Peridot looked down at her lap, unable to keep Lapis' gaze. "N-Nothing, I just don't think my mom would approve."

Peridot wasn't exactly lying; there was no way her mother would approve of her deliberately throwing away a plane ticket home for a trip with her friends. She chose not to mention the extent to which her mother would make sure Peridot did was she was supposed to, for her sake and Lapis'.

"To hell with that," Lapis said, gripping the armrests of Peridot's chair. "Just tell her that you had to work on a project."

"It's not so simple," Peridot sighed.

"Yes, it is. Look at me." Lapis leaned forward, making Peridot lean back against the backrest. After some hesitation, Peridot finally looked up. At this distance Peridot could see every blemish on Lapis' skin. Some she found endearing, others implied a hidden story; the kind only a level twenty friendship would unlock.

"She can't control every aspect of your life."

Peridot laughed dryly, "you don't know my mother."

"I know that she's got you on a leash," Lapis said with a grin, "and I'm gonna' cut it."

"Why does everything you say sound like a motivational quote?"

"I was a personal trainer in my past life."

"I thought you were a mermaid in your past life."

"Who says I couldn't be both?"

Peridot looked way, and bit her lip to hide the growing smile. "You know what? Fine."

Lapis' grin grew, "that's the spirit. Stick it to that old business woman."

Peridot laughed, "she's not _that_ old."

Lapis circled Peridot's neck with her arm and pulled her into a headlock, ignoring the girl's protests. Peridot wondered if she should be concerned with the amount of physical contact her friendship with Lapis' entailed. It felt natural, and frankly, it was a bit far into the rooming situation to ask.

"My little roommate is finally growing a backbone."

"I've had a backbone ever since you dragged me into your senseless criminal urges. I deserve more credit." Peridot stopped struggling when she realized it was futile, so she stayed limp in Lapis' hold.

Eventually Lapis released her and walked back to her side of the room to finish packing. Peridot battled with the thought of going against her mother's wishes, fully aware of the consequences that would ensue. She looked down at her phone and ignored the piling notifications cluttering her lock screen.

She shook her head and went to pick up the duffel bag. It was lighter than she expected, and looked a lot worse than when she first gazed at it. Lazuli was stitched onto a gray patch, but it was old, so the stitches were already coming undone.

Lapis noticed the way she was inspecting it and sat close to her on the bed.

"It's pretty old. Swim practice."

Peridot hummed, "I thought you still did it? With the scholarship and all?"

"Nah," a pause, "not since the accident" Lapis said grimly.

Peridot blinked. "Oh, I didn't..."

"I'm kidding." Lapis snorted and patted Peridot on the back. "I dropped it a couple of weeks ago. Didn't have time."

"Okay, first, you're awful" Peridot smacked her arm, "and second, that's terrible! I thought you loved it."

"Oh, I still do it's just...stuff was getting in the way." Lapis said.

Her tone was off, but Peridot didn't feel like it was the right time to dwell on it.

Then she frowned, "wait, so what about that scholarship?"

"I'm still holding up with a merit. If not I can just take a loan."

"Lapis, are you sure you're okay? This is a bit—"

"Peridot, it's fine, okay? I've got this." Peridot wasn't convinced. "Now, come on, lets get ready. Pearl will come pick us up any minute now."

 

* * *

   
Minutes later, Peridot found herself squeezed between a snoring Jasper and a bored Lapis who kept bickering with Pearl.

Peridot had been forced back after finding out that the alternative was to sit amongst the luggage in the trunk; which was now Amethyst's fate. The girl didn't seem to mind, however, snoring peacefully as she leaned against a pile of backpacks. Pumpkin was somewhere back there too, as far as Peridot knew. She almost feared for the creature's fate.

Garnet was already sitting in the front next to Pearl when they arrived, so there wasn't anything Peridot could do but go along with sitting in the back.

"We should have just taken my van" Pearl said for the third time since they had left the dorm's parking lot. Peridot rolled her eyes, but didn't make her thoughts known.

Lapis didn't seem to care too much.

"We've been over this, Pearl. There's no way they'd let us through the tollway with a shady van."

Pearl huffed, but didn't dispute Lapis' point. Peridot didn't understand how a broken down Cherokee was somehow less shady than a suburban minivan.

The car ride was stuffy and awkward given that the radio didn't work properly and that the only thing that would play was a 70's station so packed with static that it was just easier on everyone to keep it off. Lapis had managed to deal with the problem with earbuds, and Garnet seemed perfectly content with staring out the windshield and keeping conversation with Pearl whenever the silence got suffocating.

Peridot settled on staring out the window, task that had become difficult due to the snoring giant to her right. The view was a blur of similar-looking scenery that extended far into the horizon. There was nothing but snow and pine trees. It reminded her of a boring, downgraded version of home.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and found Lapis offering her one of her earbuds.

Peridot raised her brow, to which Lapis rolled her eyes. "What? You seem bored."

"How observant."

"Take it before I reconsider my rare act of kindness."

Peridot laughed and took the earbud eagerly. Lapis turned away to stare at the window. Peridot continued to stare at her, finding the action peculiar. It was as if Lapis was the main character of a young adult movie in the middle of a brooding montage. She couldn't name the band the other girl was listening to, but she didn't mind. Not recognizing any of her roommate's songs was a result of Peridot's lack of interest and Lapis' passionate interest. Lapis had fallen deep into so many layers of liberal irony that her music taste had grown beyond hipster indie, moving into unknown territory. Peridot didn't exactly find it unpleasant. Rather, it served to complete the brooding montage her friend was currently a part of. The sun shined through the window and bounced against the blue hair sticking from under Lapis' beanie. It gave her a certain kind of glow; the type that was feverishly looked for when taking a professional photo in the sunset.

Peridot decided to turn her thoughts off for a moment and just take her sights in. Lapis tapped her foot to the rhythm of the music and gently danced her fingers over her knee. Jasper shifted every now and then, trying to get comfortable. It didn't seem like the girl would wake up any time soon, and Peridot was thankful for that. She didn't necessarily dislike Jasper, per se, but she did have a habit of playing devil's advocate a lot more than was necessary, provoking a lot of people in the process. Normally, Peridot would refrain from engaging, but sometimes an intervention was in order.

In any case, her interactions with her roommate's partner were limited enough for her to not complain.

She doesn't know how much time passes by, or how many songs she ends up listening to—a lot of them were so similar that they seemed to blend into one another, making them a lot longer than they were meant to be—but eventually she felt Lapis' head on her shoulder. The soft material of her beanie pressed against her cheek. It was a little itchy, and smelled like smoke, much like every other article of clothing Lapis owned. That in itself was another thing about her mother Peridot found she didn't dislike anymore.

Peridot, scared to move in case Lapis removed her head, sat as still as she possibly could, shoulders raised slightly and hands searching for something to do. That alone made Lapis stir.

"Just...relax." She whispered into Peridot's shoulder.

Peridot breathed out and dropped her shoulders, arms finally finding a comfortable position. She allowed her head to rest on top of Lapis', her morning exhaustion finally getting the best of her.

The music became a blur of background noise that faded as her eyelids dropped.

 

Not a lot changed when she woke up, except both Jasper and Amethyst were awake, talking amicably about something her sleep-slurred mind couldn't comprehend. Lapis was still sleeping, or at least Peridot thought she was, because her head hadn't moved from Peridot's shoulder.

Peridot raised her head and looked around, trying to locate herself through the scenery. The snow made everything look the same, but at least there was some civilization this time.

"Mornin', squirt." She turned to see Jasper smirking down at her. She knew that opting to ignore Jasper wasn't going to do much of anything, but it satisfied her nonetheless.

She blinked the sleep away and yawned, "how much longer till we get there?"

"Around twenty minutes," Pearl said, looking straight at her through the rear-view. Peridot averted her gaze and saw that they were in the outskirts of a city that seemed unfamiliar. They were approaching a narrow dirt road that lead further and further into the woodland. The trees were so tall that it was getting difficult to see through them. In that moment, every single plot of a horror movie flooded Peridot's mind. The thought had stayed at arm's distance for most of the trip, but now that her view was obscured by a sea of trees that turned the landscape into a looped painting, Peridot was not too sure of what to think anymore. Logically, the area they were entering was a private park with good enough security for camping to be a social activity. Realistically, there was nothing to be afraid of. At least, not of the park, no.

What Peridot was scared of was the company.

The road was uneven and bumpy, and it made Peridot hold onto whatever was near her, in this case Lapis, who was awakened by the movement of the car and the sudden grip on her thigh.

Raising her head suddenly, Lapis looked around, "what the hell? Where are we?"

"Not a clue, dude, but I'm diggin' it." Amethyst said, with her arms draped over the back seat as she admiring the nature.

"Why'd Buck own property in a place like this?" Pearl's question went unanswered as the road became more bumpy.

Pearl was beginning to struggle with the amount of snow covering the road. At that point, Peridot realized the other reason why bringing the minivan was a bad idea. God knows how they would've managed to drive through this amount of snow with that.

"Hey, I think I see it, it's right over there." Peridot leaned against the window and looked over a clearing. There was a lake surrounded by trees, and just across from it was a large cabin, far from what she had imagined. It was the only patch of brown amidst the white sheet that had covered the terrain.

"Huh, I suppose shady wasn't the right word for it." Lapis offered, humming in thought.

They made their way around the lake and eventually parked in front of the cabin, taking in its appearance. It didn't look old. In fact, it almost looked like someone had been there a few weeks earlier. There was a fireplace in the lawn and a rear porch that extended into the lake. It was something right out of a millionaire magazine. Even the fallen snow settled on the rooftop looked perfect.

"No way..." Amethyst's voice died in her throat as she gazed in awe.

Pearl stopped the car and hesitated before opening the door. Peridot could guess what was going through her mind. _Buck Dewey owned this? What's more, he owns this and is letting us stay in it?_ Peridot was aware that his family was in politics, but the extent of what she knew wasn't far. Everyone sat there, admiring the building in front of them and wondering how they'd leave it as they found it when in the company of Jasper and Amethyst.

It was Jasper who made the first move.

"Lets check the place out." She said, opening the door and slamming it behind her. Peridot swore she heard Pearl growl.

"Jasper, h-hold on, we don't know if this is the right place!"

"C'mon, P, this is the only building around here for miles. It's gotta be it!" Amethyst climbed her way over the back seat and followed Jasper to the cabin's front steps, much to Pearl's dismay.

"On the bright side," Peridot turned to see Lapis leaning against Jasper's window to see the scene unfold, "if something happens, Jasper will give us a head start."

"I'm glad that you find this amusing, Lapis." Pearl said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose and seemingly battled with the urge to yell at the two girls making their way to the cabin.

"I'm going to check things out as well," Garnet finally said. Those were the first words Peridot had heard her say since she got in the car, and it was enough to get her going.

"Yeah, me too. You coming, Lazuli?"

"Hell yeah, lets go check out some banshees."

Pearl gripped the steering wheel tightly before gently hitting her head against it.

 

"This place really is legit," Amethyst gave a low whistle and she took in the cabin's porch. The name _Dewey_ was carved into the wooden door, which cleared up all remaining doubts about the location. Amethyst dug into her pocket and took out the keys Buck had given her. A tiny pair of shades hung as a key-chain. Peridot found it oddly fitting.

Amethyst was about to open it when she stopped herself half way.

"Actually," she began, "Dot, will you do the honors?"

Peridot blinked, "what? Why?"

"Well, you almost bailed on us, didn't ya? Think of it as a rite of passage. A lamer bat mitzvah."

"I thought you would use a quinceañera as example." Lapis chimed in, oddly invested into the simile.

"Not enough alcohol, dude."

"Wait," Peridot paused, "how did you know about that?"

"Oh, Laz told us."

Peridot turned to find Lapis leaning against a porch column, shrugging.

Peridot glared, "wow, thanks."

"T'was bound to happen," Lapis said, "better now than later."

"Pretty sure that's not how that goes..."

Peridot rolled her eyes but took Amethyst's keys anyways. She shoved them in the keyhole and turned. The door opened with a slight rusty squeak, and it was enough for Jasper to barge in, pushing the door open and taking a couple steps before stopping in the middle of the main hallway.

"Do you always barge into people's homes like this?" Peridot sighed, biting her tongue to stop any further remarks that were beginning to make their way out of her mouth.

"Only when I know there's no one inside. Come check this out."

"I'll go get Pumpkin." Peridot said, turning on her heel and making her way to the car. Lapis followed her, opening the trunk and throwing her bag over her shoulder. Pumpkin jumped down from the trunk and quickly stretched its legs by running around the lawn. Peridot picked up Lapis' bag—which was her bag for the time being— and made her way back to the cabin, Lapis following close behind her.

"I'm sorry about Jasper," Lapis said, looking away briefly.

Peridot shook her head, "don't be, she's a meat head."

"I just hope you two don't end up killing each other this week."

"What? Me? Lowering myself to confront Jasper? Please." Peridot crossed her arms and smirked.

"You were willing to get into a two hour dispute about tax reforms last week."

"That's different!"

"Uh-huh," Lapis smiled, and the genuineness of her smile sent a spear right through Peridot's heart. "Just try to relax, okay? You've got a lot going on."

Peridot huffed, "you're one to talk," she mumbled, but Lapis was already waking her way inside the cabin.

Pumpkin ran after her, fur wet with snow and paws covered in mud.

"Wait, Pumpkin, no!"

Peridot took off after the creature, managing to make it at the last second, scooping the dog into her arms and walking inside the cabin.

 

* * *

   
"Please tell me there's heating in this place."

The cabin's layout was, in one word, unconventional. Peridot was surprised to find that it had two floors instead of one, like most cabins. In fact, she didn't think she could consider it a cabin anymore. The only thing it had in common with one was the fact that it was completely made of wood. Besides that, it was bigger, more comfortable, and surely a lot more expensive than a regular hiking cabin. It even defeated the purpose of a temporary residence. She wouldn't mind spending more than a couple of weeks in the middle of nowhere if the stay was this good.

The door opened first to the kitchen; stone counter tops and a wooden island with three stools on either side. Jasper was particularly excited about the bar across the kitchen. Connected to the kitchen was the living room further inside the cabin. At the end of it was a glass panel that gave view to the rear porch and the lake. Finally, a corner sofa and a carpet in front of the hearth completed the winter wonderland.

Pearl had disappeared upstairs, where Peridot assumed the rooms were, so the rest simply loitered around the ground floor; Garnet bringing in the baggage, Amethyst poking around in the kitchen, and Lapis and Jasper trying out the couches. Peridot stood in front of the glass panel admiring the frozen scenery and wondering exactly how she was going to survive an entire week without Wi-Fi.

It didn't take long for Lapis to bury herself in a nest of blankets near the hearth. Despite the cabin's central heating, the temperature was dropping and it was getting hard to ignore.

"Wait here, I've got this." Jasper stoop up from the couch and looked around the kitchen. "Hey, Garnet, seen an ax around?"

Peridot looked away from the glass and turned around. "Isn't it a bit early to commit mass homicide?"

"It's like, seven. I'd say she's good to go."

"Amethyst, get down from the counter. I think I saw one outside." Garnet said, putting down the cooler and stacking the fridge.

Jasper opened the door and walked outside into the night, not bothering to replace the layers she had removed when she got comfortable inside the cabin. Nobody moved to stop her.

"Okay, so there are three rooms and—where is Jasper?" Pearl promptly made her way down the stairs, but stopped when she didn't see Jasper sitting among them. She wasn't anxious, but sounded rather exasperated.

"She became one with the nature," Peridot said dryly. "Or died of hypothermia. Ow."

Peridot rubbed the arm and glared at Lapis, who only stuck out her tongue at her.

"She's outside doing God knows what."

There was a quiet thud coming from the outside, and suddenly it was quiet again.

Amethyst ran to the door and leaned against the window. "Okay, so she's either fucking a tree, or trying to MacGyver some firewood."

"Eugh, splinters." Peridot grimaced.

"I'll go check on her." Garnet said, digging into her bag for some...gloves? Why'd she have those? Peridot simply watched as Garnet pulled out more items that looked worthy of belonging to a lumberjack. The thought didn't seem foreign to Peridot. Garnet could be anything she wanted. Eventually, Garnet was standing at the doorway with gloves, construction glasses, ready to head out in only a tank top and flannel. Peridot felt inclined to say something, but found that she had nothing to say, so she simply stared as Garnet marched out of the cabin and left her sight.

"Should we...do something?" Peridot whispered, looking behind her and seeing Pearl shake her head.

"No, it's fine," Pearl dismissed her, looking down at the bags leaning against the staircase. "as I was saying, there are three rooms upstairs. They're not that big, so we're going to have to pair up. I'm not sharing a room with Amethyst."

"Ouch, P."

"You're a mess."

Amethyst shrugs, "I'll just room with Peridot. 'That cool with you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Peridot threw her—Lapis'—bag over her shoulder and headed upstairs. Amethyst quickly followed, her bag making a lot more noises than one containing clothes should. Peridot chose not to dwell. Peridot chose not to dwell on many things today.

This was probably going to be the pattern this entire week.

 

It wasn't long until Garnet and Jasper reentered the cabin carrying firewood; a pile looking a lot better than the other. Jasper wasn't particularly happy with how hers turned out, if the way she huffed the entire time was any indication. Peridot chose to ignore them, throwing her arm over her eyes as she laid on the bottom bunk of her shared room. Amethyst had been quick to leap onto the upper bunk the moment they stepped into the room, and Peridot didn't have the energy to protest. Peridot appreciated the solitude for the time being, as coexisting with the train wreck she called her friends was getting emotionally taxing. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate them. On the contrary; she was forever grateful for their patient nature—she knew she could be a bit blunt at times. There was just so much social interaction she could handle before becoming a socially inept sock. She supposed Lapis was rubbing off on her. It was a lot more like her roommate to isolate herself.

The moment Lapis popped into her mind she grew curious. She fought the urge to get up and talk to her, knowing that she was probably spending time with Jasper. The whole thing still felt _wrong_. Peridot couldn't point out exactly _what_ was wrong, but seeing them so close made her insides cold. She felt selfish and disgusting. It wasn't any of her business, why would it make her upset? She had no right over Lapis' life.

"Peridot?"

Peridot removed the arm over her eyes and turned to the door. Garnet was standing at the doorway with a mug in her hand. Peridot quickly pushed herself up and sat down, looking at Garnet expectedly.

"I brought you tea."

"Oh, thanks," Peridot mumbled, reaching for the mug and smelling its sweet aroma. "You didn't have to."

"You looked a bit tense in the car. Are you alright?" Garnet leaned against the door frame as she waited for Peridot's response.

Peridot fumbled for a bit, searching intensely inside her own mind for the one issue that might have been the cause for concern. There was quite the number of problems she had, and she wasn't sure which she was less comfortable sharing.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She said, lying for the second time today. It was turning into a habit, it seemed.

Garnet stared right through her. Her shades were off, so it was all the more nerve-wrecking. Then, she nodded slowly, accepting the lie without pressing too much. For a moment it seemed like she knew Peridot was lying. She probably knew, but Peridot was still thankful that she didn't call her out. She wasn't ready to deal with a soon-to-be therapist coaxing her to 'open up about her feelings'. Seemingly satisfied with Peridot's answer, Garnet gave her a knowing smile and left her doorway, managing to leave Peridot feeling worse than before she came to check on her.

Peridot breathed out and took a sip of tea. It nearly burned her tongue but she felt that the heat was a wake up call of sorts.

By the time she finishes her tea, the noise from downstairs diminishes, indicating that everyone was going to bed. Eventually, Amethyst walks into the room and greets her. Peridot applauded her friend's resilience; the girl didn't even look tired. Yet, it seemed like looks were indeed deceiving, because as soon as she climbed onto the upper bunk, Amethyst was absolutely gone. She envied Amethyst' ease at finding sleep. That was yet another thing she had yet to learn from Lapis.

 

It began late into the night. Her phone read 3:20 AM when Peridot leaned over to check it. She wondered if Amethyst was hearing it too. She assumed not, given by the deep snoring coming from above her. Peridot didn't know what to do. She turned around in her bed, pressed her pillow against her head, trying to ignore, but it was impossible.

There was muffled yelling coming from behind the wall. The one separating her room with Lapis' and Jasper's.

Peridot's heart raced. She turned to lay on her back and stared at the bottom of Amethyst's bed wondering what to do. She rubbed the sleep off her face and heaved a sigh. The arguing didn't stop. It seemed to shorten, though. Sentences got shorter, but not any less intense. Fear struck her when there was silence.

Peridot waited.

A door was shut.

Footsteps trotted down the stairs.

Then, another door.

Nothing followed.

Peridot waited; two, three minutes, before sitting up. She considered her choices. She didn't have much to lose, except for sleep. With her mind made up, Peridot got up, wrapped her blanket around herself, and quietly made her way out of the room. She was careful not to wake Amethyst, but with the way she was snoring, Peridot doubted she'd do as much as stir.

She practically ran down the stairs and stopped in the middle of the kitchen. She turned to the glass panel and saw a figure sitting against it from the outside.

It was snowing.

Peridot threw on her boots and opened the front door.

A rush of wind greeted her, making her wrap her blanket tighter around herself. Sweatpants and a long-sleeve weren't proper winter clothes, but Peridot didn't have the time to think things through right now. She made her way around the cabin and stepped up the small staircase onto the rear porch. The roof stopped the snowfall, but not the cold.

She approached Lapis cautiously, like one approaches a scared animal. She had her knees pressed against her chest and her face was hidden in her arms, so she didn't notice Peridot standing in front of her. Peridot was at loss on how to approach the situation. Her worry spoke for her, because seeing Lapis shiver ceaselessly destroyed any bit of hesitation Peridot had. She slowly made her way near Lapis and sat down next to her.

Lapis flinched away, but looked confused when she saw her. "Peridot?"

Peridot shook her head, choosing to remain quiet. She removed the blanket from herself and draped it around Lapis' shoulders. Lapis seemed to get the idea, because she shifted closer to Peridot as she opened her arms, managing to share the blanket between them. Peridot tucked Lapis' head into the crook of her neck and hoped that her body heat was enough to warm her up. Lapis' skin was freezing to the touch, and her hair was wet from the snow. It made Peridot shiver and she mentally chastised herself for not leaving the cabin sooner. Surely Lapis wouldn't have been as cold.

Peridot turned to face Lapis and placed her hands on either side of her face. She rubbed her cheeks, trying to give her as much warmth as she could, despite feeling awkward for not knowing the context of the girl's breakdown.

They stayed like that for a bit, sharing body heat. Peridot didn't say anything, hoping that her silence would coax Lapis into opening up. She at least hoped her presence was enough to encourage Lapis to go back inside.

After some time, Lapis spoke.

"I don't know how much of this I can take." Her voice was merely a whisper, warm against Peridot's neck.

Peridot was at a loss for words. "What do you—?"

Lapis beats her to it, "she's, ugh, she's so _suffocating_!" Lapis' voice shook, and Peridot didn't think it was due to the cold.

"First the swimming thing, and now...dammit!" she stopped herself to breathe, "she thinks she can just—just, restrain me? Chain me, or cage me down like some sort of animal?"

Peridot shakes her head, "the 'swimming thing'? Lapis hold on," she tries to interject but Lapis is out of it, "what are you talking about?"

She grips Lapis' shoulders to get a good look at her face, and Lapis is talking again; stuttering, stumbling over her words in a desperate frenzy.

"It's like we're fighting for control over the other," she says, "like an endless tug-of-war and the winner drowns the other and— _ugh! It doesn't make any sense!"_ Lapis groans.

Peridot rubs her shoulders and lets her vent. She's too in shock to offer advice, and frankly, it isn't what Lapis needs right now.

"She...she made me quit the swim team," Lapis finally says after pulling herself together.

 

Peridot freezes. "...What?"

 

There's a hint of fear in Lapis' eyes, and she scrambles for an explanation, "it—it made sense at first! It was taking too much of my time, and I wasn't with her as much,

she said that I was juggling too many things, that I needed to prioritize," Peridot frowned at that.

"she said I'd feel better. I would use that time for myself, and for us," her voice got quiet all of a sudden, less frantic.

"...but it got worse. I miss it. I miss it so much." She buries her face in her hands and Peridot shifts closer. "It was my break from her.

Don't get me wrong, I still—I still want to be with her, okay? But now she's always there, like she's somehow _fused_ with me and I can't," she stops for a bit.

"I can't breathe."

Lapis' eyes are void of emotion and her dejected voice makes Peridot wrap her arms around her tightly.

"...yet I can't seem to get away." Peridot pulls back. Lapis isn't looking at her. She's looking at the lake with an expression so intense Peridot is scared of her own thoughts. She doesn't know what to say, or do.

So, she simply sits her holding her best friend for as long as she needs to.

 

"Do you want to go inside?"

That's all Peridot says when she feels Lapis' body shake against her. Lapis only nods, and it takes Peridot a minute to pick herself up, and then help Lapis. She extends her hand and waits. Lapis looks at it briefly before taking it.

They make their way back inside the cabin and Lapis' complexion changes instantly. Peridot lets her keep the blanket and walks over to the kitchen, picking two mugs from the cabinet as Lapis makes her way to the still lit hearth. Peridot makes a mental note to yell at Jasper for the safety hazard.

She boils water and place a bag of tea into each mug before dumping the water in. It smells floral, and the heat immediately warms her hands and she grips the mugs tightly. Peridot makes her way to the living room and sits next to Lapis, handing her a mug.

Lapis gives her a tiny smile and Peridot takes it as silent gratitude. Lapis extends the blanket once more and they just sit there.

  
The fire warms them up and they sit in silence, sipping tea and watching the snowflakes fall behind the glass panel.

  
After finishing their tea, they don't bother walking upstairs, and simply falling asleep next to each other.

Their limbs tangle uncomfortably, but they pay it no mind, enjoying the other's warmth.

  
Lapis wraps her arms around her sometime during the night.

  
Peridot ignores the warning going off her mind and rests her head on Lapis' chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really late where I am, but I have delayed it enough as it is, so I deeply apologize if it's not up to par with what I've written before.
> 
>  
> 
> (Any of you following DTTSOC? No? Okay. 
> 
> But if you are, things are coming.)


	7. A Cat Around Hot Porridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot begins to feel that maybe winter break is a lot longer than it should be, and she's not prepared to deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, uh. Been a while. I have an interview in like, an hour so I'll just leave this here. 
> 
> Please enjoy! 
> 
> And sorry for being awful at updating!
> 
> Also, do y'all like dialogue? 
> 
> I hope y'all like dialogue.

The light coming in through the glass panel wakes Peridot up.

She's sore and sweaty and disoriented, and really wished she could find her glasses and turn all the colorful blurs into coherent shapes once again. She tries to open her eyes but finds it hard to do so, both due to the brightness and sleep clinging to her consciousness. When she finally does she's faced with the rise and fall of Lapis' chest and all she can see is blue. It's not the first time she has woken up next to Lapis, and usually what follows is a complaint about her roommate's sleeping habits. She was sprawled all over the couch, limbs everywhere and with her lower body hanging out of the blanket. She snored lightly and denied it whenever Peridot brought it up. Peridot didn't know what the big deal was, she found it rather endearing.

She tries to untangle herself from the mess of limbs they had become on the living room couch and finds it gradually more difficult to do so with how tired she was. Eventually, she manages to pull her arm from under Lapis' side and hold herself up enough to look around. She patted around for a bit, looking for her glasses to no vain.

"Ugh, I left them upstairs..."

She rubs her eyes and looks down at the girl sleeping next to her. Lapis' mouth was slightly open and her hair was a mess of blue strands spread against the gray fabric of the couch. Her tank-top was riled up slightly, and her long limbs hung from the edge of the couch. She seemed to have turned over herself once Peridot got up, so Peridot reached for the blanket and wrapped it over Lapis' form. The girl stirred, but only so that she could grip it and wrap herself with it.

Last night's events were still a bit blurry in Peridot's head. She recalled leaving her room in the dead of night to check on Lapis. She assumed they must've fallen asleep while she made sure Lapis was warmed up. It seemed innocent enough; there was no reason for anyone to think otherwise.

Except she was currently in a rather compromising position if anyone were to walk down the stairs.

Her head was a bit clearer after that, and she quickly moved to stand up from the couch.

Her knees buckled and she swore she twisted her ankle on her way to the kitchen, but she wasn't sure. She stretched her arms over her head and heard her back pop twice before she swung them from side to side. For a moment it felt as if she was back in the dorm room and not hours into the wilderness. The only difference was that she hadn't checked her phone.

She could feel how cold the floor was through her socks despite the wood flooring. That in particular brought her back to the cabin. She navigated the kitchen island like a poor attempt at parallel parking. Although she could see fairly well without her glasses, the feeling of blindness made her check her surroundings a lot more than was necessary. She managed to reach the kitchen cabinets and take out a bag of coffee Pearl had brought with her. Peridot chose not to question if it was a necessary trip item and made a bee-line to the coffee maker.

She hopped onto the counter as she waited for the coffee to brew.

Peridot's eyes followed the patterns of light moving along the wooden floor. It wasn't a single shade of brown, but oranges and yellows that danced when the breeze caressed the leaves of the tree on the other side of the glass panel. She let her mind wander, then. There was a single worry in her mind, one that she had violently shoved to the back of her head yesterday. She had almost forgotten about it, but now that she had time to reflect, she realized she was much more fixated on it than she expected. She hadn't responded to her mother's email before she left the dorm.

Peridot busied her bottom lip between her teeth. It was an awful habit she thought she had grown out of, but apparently, much like past circumstances, she tended to relapse into bad habits whenever her mother was involved. Her gaze shifted back to the living room, where Lapis remained sprawled over the couch. She was certain her mother would never approve of her associating with Lapis. Then again, her mother would never approve of her associating with anyone period. She wanted her to be perfect, and at the same time ordinary. Her expectations were more like a mold she had to fit herself in, cutting the edges necessary for a perfect fit. In her mother's eyes that was perfection.

She had grown with that expectation, and caught herself thinking with that mindset every now and then. She would often disapprove of Lapis' actions just briefly before mentally pinching herself for sounding like her mother. She picked and chose what she had to from her mother's sermons. More often that not that tended to be approximately twenty-five percent of the conversation, a number that got smaller and smaller the more time she spent away from home.

She doesn't know how the other girls dealt with that kind of pressure.

The coffee boiled and shut off, signaling its finished cycle. At first, Peridot didn't make an effort to move, too entranced in her own thoughts to notice it. She absentmindedly reached for the handle and was surprised to find it gone.

"Hope you made enough for the class."

She looked up to find Amethyst pouring coffee into a tinted mug. There was a pause before Peridot acknowledged the girl's presence. "I didn't hear you coming down the stairs."

"I figured, judging by how out of it you looked. Here. You left them upstairs."

Amethyst reached inside the pocket of her sweatpants and placed Peridot's glasses on the kitchen island. Peridot just stared at them for a while, brain half processing the exchange. She picked them up slowly and absently cleaned the lens with the hem of her shirt before putting them on.

Amethyst looked a lot more tired now. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she had bags under her eyes. Peridot couldn't remember if she had them yesterday.

"...Thanks."

Amethyst nodded her head and took a sip from her mug.

They stayed like that for a while, quietly enjoying each other's company. Amethyst hopped onto the counter next to her and handed her a mug.

"So...your bed was empty last night."

Peridot grabbed the mug and took a sip, ignoring the way the coffee burned her tongue.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Oh, I was." Amethyst yawned, "I went to the bathroom and saw that you weren't there. You had me worried for a second."

"Sorry. I had to take care of something."

"More like someone. How's Lap?"

Peridot blinked up at her friend, "you heard them?"

"No, but it wouldn't be the first time. Jasper confines in me a lot." Amethyst shrugged. "I wouldn't confront them, though. They're rather sensitive about their relationship."

"You're telling me." Peridot rolled her eyes. "I'm worried about her."

Amethyst placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're not the only one. I love Jasper, but..."

"Yeah..."

They both took a sip.

 

* * *

  
Luckily, Jasper didn't wake up until noon.

As did Lapis, despite the ruckus being made in the kitchen once Pearl and Garnet came down.

"Amethyst, you're up early," Pearl said, as she made her way to the kitchen.

She expected Pearl to be the first one up. She usually is in these situations, but judging by her peppy mood Peridot was willing to bet that she was in desperate need to sleep in today. Garnet, it turns out, had been awake the whole time. She had been outside while Peridot and Amethyst talked. She didn't say what she was doing, and walked in without a muttering a word. Peridot didn't feel like it would be appropriate to ask.

When Garnet opened the door, Pumpkin came rushing in straight for the living room couch. In a single, ungraceful leap, the corgi made it to Lapis' sleeping form.

"Ugh, Pumpkin." Lapis groaned. The creature laid in between Lapis' legs, refusing to move from its position.

"Don't let her on the couch, her paws are wet!" Pearl rushed to the living room, taking Pumpkin in her arms and promptly retiring to the bathroom to dry the dog.

Lapis blinked. _"Her?"_

Pearl halted. "You _do_ know Pumpkin is female, right?"

"Uh."

Pearl turns to Peridot. "Did _you_ know?"

Peridot struggles with a response. "I-I took Lapis' word for it, so I never bothered checking!"

Pearl sighed and shook her head, picking up her pace once more to clean up Pumpkin. "...unbelievable" she mumbled.

"I am an awful mother."

"Lapis, don't be dramatic."

The girl in question immediately threw her back into the couch, sighing dramatically, "I couldn't possibly know what you mean."

Garnet grinned, crossing her arms across her chest. She was still wearing that lumberjack outfit with too little layers for this kind of weather. "At least she's awake, and that's an extra pair of hands. Help me set up a bonfire for tonight."

"Woo!"

Peridot paled. "Do not let her near fire! And take a jacket, dammit!"

But it was too late. Lapis was already out the door, jogging close behind Garnet.

"What's with all the noise?" Peridot turned her head to find a groggy Jasper peaking her head from the top of the staircase.

"It lives!"

Jasper made her way down the stairs noiseless, seemingly with less energy than usual. She didn't look any better than Lapis did last night. There was not a trace of rest on her face, and Peridot wasn't sure if she was upset, or if her face was just like that.

Peridot had a lot of feelings about Jasper. Although she didn't have any particular reason to dislike her, the jock's personality was a catalyst for confrontation. Peridot didn't consider herself to be a confrontational person—the social anxiety didn't allow her to voice her thoughts most of the time, in fear she'd say something insensitive without realizing. With Jasper, however, all opinion norms were thrown out the window. Peridot wasn't afraid to lock horns with the other girl anymore, even if the size difference made the fights look ridiculous.

Yet, despite all of this, Peridot didn't think Jasper was a bad person.

This complicated things in Peridot's head when Lapis was added to the equation. She cared about Lapis. A lot. A lot more than she cared to admit. So when she heard all of these things from Lapis herself, her opinion of Jasper was somewhere beneath the realm of the living. She acknowledged her bias, and she knew that her reaction was unreasonable, but she couldn't stop the tasteless remarks that left her tongue anytime she had to interact with the athlete.

Peridot teared her eyes away from Jasper, focusing instead on Pearl who was gently petting Pumpkin dry.

"There we go. Now you're free to roam around the cabin." The creature jumped from Pearl's arms and ran to Peridot. Pumpkin stood on her hind legs and placed her paws on Peridot's thighs, begging for attention.

"So a girl, huh?" Peridot scratched behind her ear and smiled softly, "that explains your hatred for Kevin."

She heard Amethyst snicker behind her. "Don't do my man like that."

"I'd sooner get drunk on paint thinner than listen to another one of his misogynist rants."

"Speaking of paint thinner, did you hear he tried to take responsibility for the murals?"

Peridot coughed into her elbow. "Did he, now?"

"That guy wouldn't paint anything besides himself." Jasper said, taking a swig right off the milk carton. "Not to mention he just can't paint. At all."

"Pearl's gonna yell'atcha."

"She can die mad about it," Jasper said, tossing the carton back into the fridge and slamming the door.

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Did anyone believe him?"

"Some teachers, maybe. Thought he had the academic record for it. Just not the talent."

"So an empty threat, then?"

"M-hm."

Peridot nodded, satisfied that the only people who were hunting for credit were incompetent.

"I think Skinny is onto something," Jasper said absently, and Peridot swallowed.

"What makes you say that?"

"She was narrowing down possible students based on analysis," she began, "she's really into this, as you can tell."

"Uh-huh."

"She has like, thirty-something students listed down?"

Amethyst whistled, "that's actually pretty impressive."

"Right? I asked her if I knew anyone but she wouldn't budge."

"Maybe it's someone we know."

Jasper laughed, "please, the only artsy person I know is Lapis and I think I'd be the first to know if she was the one doing all of that."

Peridot coughed in order to stifle a laugh. "You'd be surprised," she whispered.

"Excuse me?" Jasper had her full attention now, and Peridot realized her mistake. "Do you know something I don't?"

"N-No! But isn't it a bit arrogant to assume you know everything about somebody?" Peridot planted her feet firmly on the ground, no longer leaning against the kitchen island.

Jasper took a step closer. "Are you implying I don't know my girlfriend?"

Peridot huffed, "No, I'm saying that maybe some people are more complex than you think!"

Amethyst stepped in with a sigh, "okay, that's enough. J's got a point, P-dot. Lap is too close of a friend for us not to notice something like that."

Peridot bit her tongue, but backed down. "You're right. She's my roommate after all."

"Have you noticed anything different? I mean, to rule her out completely."

Peridot hummed, "not really. I think I'd notice someone sneaking out of the room late at night."

Irony was a cruel and sadistic mistress.

Amethyst sighed, relieved, "How is Skinny planning on finding out who it is?"

Jasper crossed her arms and grinned, "that's the best part. She's staying on campus, so if murals start showing up then the suspect's gotta be on campus."

"So, if they _don't_ show up..."

"Then they left for the break. All she has to do then is ask around."

"She really thought this through, didn't she?" Peridot said, trying to mask her discomfort with amusement.

Peridot wasn't worried she'd be on the list. There was no way in hell anyone would think she was capable of vandalizing. Lapis was right to think it was the perfect crime. Lapis, on the other hand, fit the suspect to a T. It was just a matter of alibis and witnesses. And judging by Jasper's confidence, Lapis was safe.

Garnet walked in, then. Lapis followed, looking a bit more bummed out than when she walked out of the cabin.

"How was the bonfire." Peridot said, raising an eyebrow and earning a sad look from Lapis.

"There was no actual fire. Just logs and rocks."

"I did say we were just setting up for tonight," Garnet said with a grin. "You hyped yourself up for nothing."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Lapis mumbled.

Peridot gave her a look, but remained silent. She had stirred things enough already.

 

* * *

  
When Peridot reluctantly agreed to join her friends on a trip to the wilderness, the last thing she expected was to gain ten years just from looking after her roommate and her dog.

"Lapis, it's just snow. Could you please act like an adult and release the handrail?"

Her roommate was currently hiding beneath four layers of fabric, blue hair and glare poking out of a beanie and an oversize crochet scarf. Peridot tapped her foot like an exasperated mother waiting for her child to end their tantrum, sighing and sitting stubbornly on the porch steps.

Lapis groaned and wrapped both her arms around the handrail. "It's like, negative seven-hundred degrees out there."

Peridot rolled her eyes. "It's just one below zero, stop being dramatic."

"What's that in English."

"Twenty-nine Fahrenheit."

"Ugh" Lapis threw her head back and groaned. Peridot took a deep breath and stood up, gripping Lapis' jacket and pulling her away from the porch. _"Ugh!"_ She groaned louder this time, but Peridot was having none of it, pulling Lapis along the snow-covered path.

"You were just outside this morning, you'll manage."

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl had gone ahead on the hiking trail after Peridot told them she'd wait for Lapis. Jasper was far gone by the time Garnet mentioned the existence of said trail, so now it was just her dealing with her broody best friend. Even Pumpkin had gone ahead, running after Amethyst in a frenzy.

"C'mon, once you start moving it won't feel as cold anymore," Peridot said, locking the cabin behind her.

"I don't believe you," Lapis huffed, digging her hands inside her pockets.

"That's fair."

The walk began as a breeze. At least for Peridot, who was having an easier time dealing with the cold than Lapis. She wasn't a fan of physical activity, but the snow was a familiar sight, so she was willing to put in the work. Lapis' physical shape became apparent the more they walked. She still complained about the cold, but there was no shortness of breath in her speech, and Peridot would often catch herself trailing behind Lapis if only for a few steps. Lapis took notice of this and slowed down her stride to match Peridot's.

"Weren't _you_ the one pushing me to go for a walk?"

"Did you warm up enough to make fun of me?" Peridot snapped back, elbowing Lapis' side.

"I'm just teasing," Lapis said with a laugh, "there's no rush to catch up with them."

Peridot allowed herself to smile and bumped her shoulder against Lapis'. "They'll get mad at us for making them wait so long."

Lapis smirked, "they can die mad about it."

Something hard dropped in Peridot's stomach. "Hey, um..." She glued her eyes to the trail and readjusted her glasses. "About last night."

The playful mood banished and was replaced by a sudden cold. Lapis didn't answer for a while, but Peridot wasn't about to take it back. They needed to talk, and now was the perfect time to do so. Lapis absently kicked the snow in front of her. From the corner of her eye Peridot could see that she was frowning.

"I'm sorry." Lapis finally mumbled.

Peridot tilted her head to the side, "what for?"

"For making you worry and stuff..." she began. "you shouldn't have to deal with my problems."

Peridot looked at Lapis as if she had grown a third eye. "You've got nothing to apologize for, I just wanna make sure you're okay." Lapis didn't say anything as she continued to kick the snow beneath her feet. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know, I just..." Peridot could tell she was mulling things over in her head, so she reached over and offered Lapis her hand. Lapis just stared at it for a moment before slowly holding it in her own. Peridot gave it a squeeze and smiled.

"You don't have to do this alone."

Lapis studied her. She had an odd expression on her face, one Peridot couldn't recognize. She got nervous, and averted her gaze. She looked down until she heard Lapis laugh unexpectedly. It grew from a quiet giggle to something bright and happy. It made Peridot smile and her chest tightened just a little. Lapis took her hand back and threw her arm around Peridot's shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. It was awkward and uncomfortable but Peridot was too relieved to care. She tentatively wrapped both arms around Lapis' waist and turned her in place, turning the side hug into a proper embrace. Lapis buried her face in Peridot's hair and squeezed her tightly.

"I don't deserve the great and lovable Peridot," She whispered, still out of breath from laughing.

Peridot poked her side and grumbled. "Shut the fuck up."

They stayed like that for much longer than was needed, to the point Lapis began to sway them from side to side while Peridot attempted to free herself from the embrace.

"Okay, that's enough, Lazuli."

Lapis only held her tighter. "Screw hiking, you're warm."

Peridot dropped her hands to her sides and waited until Lapis felt like releasing her. Eventually Lapis gave in and stepped back, apologizing with a smile.

"Whatever, let's get going before it gets dark." Peridot said, looking off to the side to hide how red her face was.

"Want to race to the top?"

"Absolutely not."

 

  
It took them nearly two hours to reach the meetup spot. The trail was a maze of dirt and snow that opened up to a snowy hill. If it wasn't for Peridot's exhaustion she would've found it beautiful. They reached the top at dusk, and the sky had turned multiple shades of red and orange. Everyone was already settled by the time Lapis and Peridot arrived. Garnet sat on a log, overlooking the expansion of forest beneath the hill. Pearl sat next to her, sipping from the cap of a vacuum flask. Amethyst was playing with Pumpkin in the snow while gathered as much snow as possible with the intention of hurling it at an unsuspecting victim.

_"Finally!"_ Amethyst yelled once she noticed their presence. The rest turned around to greet them, started by Amethyst's sudden outcry. "What took you guys so long?"

"We ran into a bear," Lapis said nonchalantly. "Hi, Pumpkin!"

"I had to drag her away to end the torment. Poor creature." Peridot confirmed in monotone.

Lapis ran to greet the dog, dropping to the ground, seemingly no longer concerned about the cold. Peridot made her way to a log near Amethyst, plopping down with a sigh.

"Trail treat you well?" Amethyst asked, picking herself off the snow and sitting down next to Peridot.

"Like a cat around hot porridge." Peridot grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ah, so you talked to Lapis."

"Briefly," Peridot said. "We didn't get into specifics. But hopefully she'll be more comfortable talking about it soon."

"Good. Did you ask her about the murals?"

Peridot scratched the back of her neck and decided to look somewhere else. "Forgot to mention it."

"It's fine. Jasper will bring it up soon enough." Amethyst said, smacking Peridot's back before standing up. "Rest up. We're going down soon."

"But we just go here!"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't taken two hours to get here, you would've had more time to enjoy it."

Peridot tried to retort but Amethyst had run off to tackle Jasper to the ground. It wasn't long until Lapis approached her with Pumpkin in her arms. The two girl's wrestling were blocked by Lapis' form, forcing Peridot to look up and take in Lapis' appearance. Her hair was a dripping mess, beanie nowhere to be seen. Her nose and cheeks were pink from the cold and her scarf was hanging loosely over her shoulders. Peridot's eyes softened. Lapis was grinning like a fool and hugging Pumpkin close to her chest.

"I take it you made peace with winter?" Peridot asked with an amused smile.

"We signed an armistice until further notice."

"I'm glad. Care to join me?"

Lapis nodded and sat down. Pumpkin lied down on Lapis' lap, head resting on Peridot's thigh. Peridot petted the dog's head absently, allowing herself to relax and forget about all the issues that plagued her mind. She leaned against Lapis' arm, her weight resting there just slightly. Lapis leaned back and sighed.

"Are you aware you look like a mess right now?" Peridot whispered, eyes half lidded with exhaustion.

"I _am_ a mess, Peridot."

"You're not so bad, Lazuli."

"Thanks, Peri."

 

  
Night had fallen when they decided to make their way back to the cabin. The moonlight was just bright enough to guide them, but Peridot still helped herself with her phone's flashlight. The hike down went faster than the climb, and despite the few hiccups (most involving Peridot and her inability to keep her feet firmly planted on the ground), they managed to make it to the cabin without problems. It took around an hour till Peridot could see the cabin in the distance. The porch light was on, making it easier to spot, and the soft snow had transitioned into the compact mud in which the cabin was built on.

Peridot threw herself on the couch the moment she opened the door, not bothering to remove her muddied boots. She could tell Pearl was making a fuss but she couldn't be bothered to move from her position. She could hear movement behind her; the opening of a fridge, the opening and closing of cabinets, the stove turning on. Peridot closed her eyes to the sound of footsteps making their way upstairs.

"Don't fall asleep on me, dude. It's only eight." She heard Amethyst behind her.

"Sounds like a reasonable sleep time to me." Peridot mumbled into the couch, not bothering to lift her head.

"Suit yourself. But if you fall asleep you ain't getting food."

Peridot cursed her flesh vessel and its need for sustenance before pushing herself off the couch.

"Lapis, can you bring those beer packs outside?"

"In a minute!" Lapis sprinted downstairs and went to pick up the packs when Peridot stopped her.

"Wait, come here. I need to tell you something." Peridot whispered, beckoning Lapis to the living room.

Lapis lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

"Skinny is onto you."

"What? How do you know?" Lapis put the packs down and sat next to Peridot.

"Jasper mentioned it this morning. You're on her list," Peridot explained. "Jasper and Amethyst think she's wrong, though."

"Huh," Lapis blinked. "How so?"

"Jasper isn't the brightest, and Amethyst trusts you a whole lot."

"Aw."

Peridot shook her head. "Try to be as unassuming as possible."

Lapis grinned, "please, you forget I managed to fool you for months."

Peridot frowned, "that's different. Skinny is awfully close to the both of them. You gotta be careful."

Lapis' grin softened into something genuine. "Don't worry, I've got this."

 

Peridot felt something soft on her cheek. She blinked and it was gone. By the time she regained her senses Lapis was gone and she was alone inside the cabin.

She brought her hand to her cheek and felt how the warmth spread to every inch of her face. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest and she felt herself heaving.

 

That was new.

 

Oh no.

 

She grabbed the nearest couch pillow and buried her face in it, screaming as loudly as she could and hoping the pillow would absorb all of it. When she finished she took off her glasses and ran her hands through her hair.

 

She made a run to the bathroom and splashed her face with water. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time. Her entire body was hot, her face was red, and her hair was a mess.

 

Whatever was happening to her needed to stop happening. Or she wasn't going to survive winter break.

 

She didn't know what was going to happen once they returned to campus.

 

But of one thing she was certain.

 

It was going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for future readers, I think it'll be helpful to tell you that when I write slow-burn, I really mean Argentine beef cooking-length slow burn. So like, yeah. Buckle up for the lazy river of slow-burn fics.


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